The Internet can be a cruel and unusual abyss of half-cocked opinions and bargain basement analysis, especially when it comes to Black wom...
Runner Take Your Mark
The word multifarious is fast becoming one of my favorites. It means to have many varied parts or aspects. Many faces.
Being such a person, as I assume most of us are when you get right down to it, has always been scary to me. Anyone seeing the common theme here: fear? When I was little I wanted to be an obstetrician. By the age of 12, I wanted to be a child psychologist. An Olympic track running child psychologist at that. Model and female DJ--Spinderella 2 was my heroine. Then came Work-from-home Mom (you didn't know that was a title did you?) and authoress. That was followed by Day Care proprietor. I was also going to bring back good music and revamp the industry while also becoming a sought after Interior Decorator. And let me not forget Creative Writing and African American Literature Professor. I got to the teaching part, but I apparently have a lot of work ahead of me if I'm to cross any of these off my list. I wanted to be all of these things because some aspect of each is a part of who I am.
Where's the fear in all of that? Well, aside from haters, friends and family alike, discouraging me from pursuing certain dreams, I haven't figured out how to find the time to master any of this stuff so as to be able to first take myself seriously and then expect the next person to. I felt like I needed to study business (still not a bad idea), clearly would need a degree in English, might wanna study more about design than my own personal whims and mags devoted to the industry, and it definitely requires a degree in psych to be taken seriously. Lets not even consider med school as a viable option anymore, taking care to eliminate obstetrician. Olympian can be crossed off due to arthritic knees. All I saw before me was a lifetime of school. The very thought makes me cringe. Plus, I've never seen myself as the career driven woman chasing degrees in order that I may rise to the top of my field and take it by storm. Remember the Work-from-home Mom part? Yeah, that required actually having time to get married (cuz I'm old fashioned like that) and make some babies. This, assuming that 2 posts prior wasn't my actual truth.
So now what? Now I'm hustling to do EVERYTHING I can do with the talents I've been given and the skills I've acquired so that I can touch EVERYTHING I'm interested in right now. I'm also very accepting that the things on my present list could mysteriously fall off and be replaced by some other things that may suit my fancy.
That means in the future you could catch me riding around a city near you on a Chopper, achieving my desire to be a Biker Bitch. You might sit in a friend's living room and comment on the amazing use of color and fabrics and hear my name dropped. Your child could still find his/her way into my establishment's welcoming environment and be a privileged recipient of my secret selling point. You may still have my books on your shelf and catch me doing readings of poetry and prose at a comfortable venue with low lights and subtle incense. You might even catch me singing a hook somewhere if I ever get around to taking those lessons I've coveted for years.
Then I'll squeeze in time to go hang gliding and open that bed & breakfast. I may have even established Sunday dinners at my house and finally decided to turn a profit for my sweet potato pies. My sister and I will collaborate and turn my stories into screen plays and then into movies that her film company takes all the way.
All that's necessary is that I keep tapped into the I.V. that currently feeds me on my personal competence and continues to build my personal confidence, growing me bigger and deffer. I've always been told that I'm intimidating for such a little person, but I can't keep shrinking myself for the benefit of others. Perhaps others need to grow some too.
I'm only racing against me, trying to beat my own best time, using the scenery of the lives of others along the way as the reminders of the possibilities.
Watch me move.