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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Single Driver Wanted

In a meeting this afternoon I was asked what my hopes and dreams are. It's the standard first day/week of school question we pose to the children. Some of them are hoping for some special toy or to be able to take 1 more trip, or get that dog they've always wanted not to actually take care of. Others of them look like deer caught in headlights. I identified with the latter group. By no means was it because I don't have hopes and dreams but because they're so compartmentalized and I needed to sift through the stacks to find the ones marked Current/Professional. My eye is so far ahead on the next prize that I'm seeking that I couldn't really articulate what I hope for and dream about for this school year.

After several moments of struggle I articulated that one of my dreams is to tell stories through movement/dance this year and get these kids excited about performing. Also, I hope to really get this "Exploration" program under way, working with the young girls and perhaps even coaching girls' track this year. This year feels a lot like getting back to my roots while surveying the new landscape my life has just purchased. In my mind I said I hope to learn to keep my emotions a little closer under my chest and not written all over my face or spilling out of my mouth. I know what it feels like to suppress what I think and feel and the sickness that ensues. I don't miss that and live in such a way as not to experience that again. I'll be learning to be under the radar and let my work speak for me while in the process of building my body of work.

At various points throughout the day I found myself the keeper of people's personal information, that I hadn't asked for. When telling a friend about the strange phenomenon, I made it clear that I don't come to work (or anywhere else for that matter) looking to make friends, but I also don't go with the intention of making enemies. Another friend said basically that I have enough visual stink on me to make me intriguing, but not enough to make people leave me alone. By the end of the day, anything that wasn't mine, or intended for me had been sloughed off and I was as light as I was when I arrived.

My weekend will be spent in states from enjoyment to pure bliss. The tradition started last year for me to abandon all responsibilities and just get refreshed and rejuvenated. There'll be plenty of days in the near future to focus on the details. I can feel the energy surge just below the surface that's charging in response to the unknown that will arrive in the coming days. More than that, I can't wait to see how I respond to it all, very focused on personal goals that will continue on this theme of jumpstarting this next phase of my life. Creating my own lane is so intoxicating!!

Watch me move.

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