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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Winged Smile for My Sista(s)

I think it's time I clear something up.

I'm a very observant and opinionated person. I come equipped with a critical eye that I inherited from my no nonsense mother. I was born into the everything better be black side of black and white absolutes. I get it honest, and recognize the shortcoming. It's not all bad though.

Growing up is about recognizing who you are and being strong enough to make the changes you know to be necessary in order to travel this plane with the least possible resistance. It's about personal truths, self sacrifice and the willingness to hustle for and toward your best self. I have taken a lot of lumps along the way that have further cemented some very strong opinions that keep me rooted in what's important to ME. It's not the Bible and I don't expect anyone to agree with me. What's works for me may not work for you and I have zero expectations that you will do what I do. But when asked a question, I can only speak from MY perspective. That perspective has either been shaped by that which I have experienced or that which I have seen.

All of our paths are different and destined for uniquely individual ends. As I work harder at excepting shades of gray, please understand that anything that I state as an absolute is only one for ME!! If I observe something that isn't as I would want it to be for me, I make a mental note of it. If I know you well enough to know that what you've got going on isn't what I KNOW you to want either, I may make mention--though these days I'm learning to wait until I'm asked. I have wonderful sista-friends who are dynamic and talented women. They are large-hearted and multifarious women like me. We've shared our wants and needs with each other over plates and glasses, spirits to drink and spirits riding our backs, in restaurants and living rooms, on sofas, bar stools, and beds sized for queens. Those conversations have been bathed in tears and rinsed in laughter. Our secrets have been sealed with hugs and loving smiles of approval. We could probably all recognize from a great distance when either of us is doing the opposite of what we said we'd do--and by opposite I mean straying in a darker direction. In those times we've rubbed each other's shoulders in patience, understanding, and encouragement.

In a conversation with my mama, Mama Pot called me, Baby Kettle (last name Black, of course), out and reminded me that everything I think doesn't have to be said. I see some things right now that make me sad in the lives of those close to me. That is not to say that either of them may not feel some level of concern for me now as well, but I can only speak for me. Mama Pot, reminded me, Baby Kettle, to simply offer my smile unless asked for more, and remember to smile back toward myself for the great accomplishments I've made against the skeptics and sayers of nay. My enthusiasm for where I presently am and know I will be in the near future will rub off on those around me and cause them to think back to those days when we called out of work to indulge in turkey pastrami sandwiches from Comet's (shout out to an older version of Adams Morgan) and friend-therapy. That futon is still in great condition, Sista, and if I thought it would do any good, I'd set it up in my spot right now just for you. I've kept it for nostalgia, hoping to give it it's own golden corner for us to sit with your daughter and share grown woman stuff with her so she'll ready to live her own life bigger and deffer.

In the meantime, this smile is always on full wattage for you. You are always welcome to whatever I have, including my opinion. I'll forgive you should your lips deliver an express ticket for me to hell, and K.I.M. as we always have. Everything I have for you is papered in love, don't forget that. When you're ready, lets find a way to make sure you can do it with greater ease and personal fulfillment. I won't be standing still waiting though. So, in honor of what we said we wanted and what I've added to the list for myself...

Watch me move.

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