Through My Eyes
I know my eyes ain't blue...just go w/me here.
As an avid Hip Hop fan (though Old School is what soothes my mature soul) I still tune in to certain award shows in hopes of catching a glimpse at someone who once truly Moved the Crowd, inspired a living room video shoot (in my mind) or gave me fever. VH-1 Hip Hop Honors has been that show for me in the last few years, though this year’s show made me sad enough to cry silently inside, and throw up in my mouth a little (when Foxxy Brown took to the stage). BET’s Hip Hop Awards show aired last night and inspired me to talk out loud to myself. These are some of the things that I said:
1. WTF!! Is that a Parental Advisory patch sewn on the crotch of Snoop Dogg’s jeans?
2. Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em WHAT??
3. Kid N Play?? AAAAHHHHHHH!!! & they’re Kicksteppin!!!!!
4. Busta, you should just get a Louis Vuitton body tat & skip the trouble of having to coordinate the hat w/the sweater, w/the jacket, w/the pants, w/the belt (and I’m sure the shoes, though I didn’t see them).
5. [Everytime I see Tiny] What the hell were you thinking T.I.? [Then I see her ass & understand possibly where his mind was when he chose that 1.] But is she really reading his letter to the audience using her FINGER??
6. THANK YOU LUDA for being a seasoned performer and doing more than screaming breathlessly into the mic--note to all other performers to follow Busta’s advice from years ago: GET YA WEIGHT UP!!
7. Thanks DJ Khaled for abandoning the raucous and annoying “WE DA BEST” for a more casual but purposeful “Lets Go!” Wait...the show’s not over, I spoke too soon.
8. Nipsy Hussle is the best MC name since Lawd Have Mercy and Dat Nigga Daz.
9. Lovin’ how rap in other languages rhymes in that language, but not in its English translation--Shout out to the Tanzanian MC in the Cypher.
10. CONGRATS Ice Cube on the I Am Hip Hop award--still the sexiest teddy bear out there with the prettiest smile--come a long way since the curl, Baby.
11. Are Dawn, Diddy, and D Woods conjoined triplets? & if not, can y’all do something, ANYTHING, w/out each other??
12. Only Black people!! Who else could lose a leg, get a prosthesis, go through physical therapy and re-learn to walk w/your original bop? That's what's up Khujo Goodie!! AND uckf sparing you. "I'M WEARING SHORTS [for this performance], GODDAMMIT!"
13. Dear God, I will try to forgive Goodie M.O.B.’s stylist (?) for OG’n (Over Gold if you don’t know) and Big Gipp’s fanga waves.
14. Last but NEVER least: shout out to Wale for representing Chocolate City lovely!! We Run This City!!
I love this shit!! Until next year...