I grew up on Kwanzaa. Learned Christmas was a day where families gather and another opportunity for gift receiving (I was a child). No matter the holiday, it all means a time for family to share and be with each other.
Tomorrow, for my Christmas celebrating relatives, and my Christmas respecting nuclear family, I will gather at the table and break bread, soaking up the gravy of laughter with them. I look forward to the witty stories of my Grandmother. I can't wait to see what exotic fruit is at the center of this year's turkey carcass. I can't wait for the cynical comedy stylings of my aunts, and wishing on the rare appearance of my uncle so things can maybe be like they were when I was little. I can't wait to wonder about the origin of the baubles in my uncle's girlfriend's house and try to politely sit amongst them without the tears associated with stifled sniggering breaking loose and telling on me. I anxiously look forward to the comedic DVD that will have my mother and grandmother laughing near peeing on themselves, their divine indulgence in inappropriate funnies. I am glad that this year my sister will accompany me and the wonders of this house will no longer be lore, but a reality she too will have the dis/pleasure of knowing. I'll think fondly on the last Christmas with my Pop Pop and watching him take a few cups of spiked nog to the head.
This year I remembered cards for everyone. My money is short but my love is long and I hope that the gesture is sincerely felt. One day my grandmother will have the proper trinket that I've dreamed of for her for the last 2 years. Poor holiday planning creeps up on me every time, making it an afterthought. There is actually a tree in my house. A miniature 1, all white, a gift from a coworker. And beneath it, if such a place exists for such a small tree, are gifts for the immediate few. But also under it is my gratitude for the support given me this year, the encouragement to be who I am and do what moves me, love to those who have reciprocated even on days when I've drawn inward, and the desire to be and do better.
Wishing you safe travels to your familial destinies, enjoyment of your loved ones, and safe returns.
Watch me move.