I usually pull my ideas solely from the events & thoughts of my own life. But today I read a blog on Essence.com where a woman was talking about lists women make on the traits, etc, that we want in a man. Her girlfriend had a list of 117 things she needs/wants in a man. If you're like me, & you've ever made 1 of these lists, all my lists I've made since the age of 13 (yeah...I fell for the indoctrination early--but I've grown past it) don't add up to 117 things. The repeat traits probably keep me hovering somewhere around 10-20, which might be considered light. Anyway, I considered, now that I'm just days away from 35, what would be on my list. Today, I'm going to try to build a man.
Lots of women have it broken down to the nth degree. "I want a man who's no less than 6'2" tall." Well, so do I, but since I'm no more than 5'2" myself, the likelihood of that is slim to none. In real life, we can cut the number of times that's actually happened down to almost 1. Yeah...ONE. Some women make complexion requirements. I LOVE dark chocolate. I like em Senegalese dark, the kinda dark that makes em look shiny like new money just because they put on lotion. I'll 1-up things & say I like em tall & dark, Kevin Garnett style. If you've ever seen me out with a man...you know they've rarely been black enough to truly please my palette but it hasn't stopped me. Lots of us want college graduates. I've got to say, as a college graduate surrounded by other college graduates, I can't say this is the cream of the intellectual crop. Intelligence is beyond book smarts. I want a man who is marketable. If that required him to go to college, then so be it, but if it didn't I would like to believe I'm open minded enough to be able to work wit' a brotha all the same. I've done it in my 20's, but haven't been faced with that dilemma since hitting 30. Like I said, marketable. I don't require that you be a baller, I'm not waiting for a man to drop his ATM receipt (a la that whack movie Sprung), hoping to see oodles and oodles of O's. At the same time, I admittedly would prefer you're doing at least as well (if we can call it that...I'm a teacher after all) as I am. I'm not down for hustling backwards. Also, I live in an apartment, I can't require that you have a house. I can, however, require that you don't live at home or in your baby's mama's basement in the house y'all once shared--citing it's a convenience so you can still see your kids regularly. Yeah, and sneak up on that used-to-be yours snatch from time to time too. Nope...not havin' that. I do appreciate a man who is a committed member of his family. Family is important and seeing how you are with yours hints at how you could be with mine, at the very least ours. But if you have to meet with your [GROWN] bipolar sister every Tuesday to tell her who she can & can't date and travel out of town every other weekend to pull weeds in your mother's flower beds (even in the winter months), I'm not so sure there's a lot of time left over for me/us anyway.
After all this, I think I'll skip the Build-a-Man activity. It would be easier if it were a store at the mall where you could get him stuffed & dress him how you like, print out a certificate & check out with a
Watch me move.