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Gabby Douglas & Simone Biles: Hop off their edges

The Internet can be a cruel and unusual abyss of half-cocked opinions and bargain basement analysis, especially when it comes to Black wom...

Monday

Busy Work


So…

I’m going to act like you’ve been keeping up and just jump right in. Remember Old Friend? He’s pulled his head back out from under the rock he usually hides under. Well, maybe he doesn’t hide. If you knew him, you’d know that his rock is propped up on an exquisite stick and under it he’s got all his creature comforts, and he’s watching everything we do. It’s what elevated minds do. Like most elevated minds, something about him is off and he WILL reveal it if you just give him a chance to. Our last encounter, via phone and text message, was supposed to be the beginning of a new phase of enlightenment, according to him. That very well could be under way, but I cain’t tell based on our last conversation.
My phone rings.

What’s up?

I wanna do somethin’ witchoo sometime.

Something like what and when is sometime?

I don’t know all’at yet. I just wanted to put that out there.

Ok.

Based on his answer to my first question, I bet you decided there shouldn’t be any more questions. I feel you on this, but not asking any more questions would have kept me from this comedic moment and robbed me of some real entertainment.

The most memorable time, and by memorable I mean enjoyable, with Old Friend was the time we went to Rock Creek Park and just rapped a taste. We watched a family of ducks and talked. We looked for glimpses of deer and talked. We drank juice and talked. He told me about some nut-ass chick he was dealing with or wouldn’t deal with anymore because she was, well, a nut. I have no recollection what stage of the To Be or Not To Be in the relationship game I was in, but I’m sure we discussed that too. He dropped me back at home and he disappeared back under that rock. That was years ago. 2 friends kickin’ the Willie BoBo in the summer sun.

It seems that now things have changed. Remember, he’s decided that I liked him once upon a time. I don’t recall it, but maybe I did throw the man some rhythm. My older sister says I’m an incomparable flirt. If I did, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t intended to blow any Cupid dust his way. But like another friend says, “you can’t control how people interact with the gift.” Since I’m doing major work right now, re-feeling the pain of a past relationship and all, and I could use some entertainment.

The word must have gotten out that I was looking to be entertained because it seems another kid from Camp Dude Are You Still Here has wandered past his scout master and is looking to play with me…again. It didn’t go so well the first time. It actually didn’t go like anything. I understood that to mean that we share no chemistry, despite the initial attraction. He seems to think that maybe if you turn the square peg 45 degrees to the right, it just may fit into the round hole. Sadly, since I’m seeking diversions right now, I just may sit and watch this exercise in futility.

Again.

This is terrible, I know. Some folks play cards. Others play video games. I people watch, up close and personal.

Watch me move.

3 comments:

  1. Terrible? To whom, exactly? If people are perfectly willing to run into brick walls (unintentionally or otherwise), I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to garner some amusement from it.

    Besides, as long as you let him know that he never really stood a chance at some point, it's one of those life lessons learned. And if more people learned more of those lessons, we might collectively have a little more sense.

    Far from being terrible, I think you're doing something wonderful. He'll learn a little bit more about who he is, and he might just become a little bit better as a result. You're practically Mother Teresa.

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  2. Orga, you're hysterical.
    Funnier still is that I wrote once that I feel like I'm being prepped to be Mother Teresa out here. I don't think this is what's going to get me there though.

    Camp Dude Are You Still Here has been told. I think he's 1 of those guys who likes a challenge. I don't think he understands what event he keeps signing up for. There are no badge ceremonies at the end of this.

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  3. CAMP DUDE ARE YOU STILL HERE!? Funniest thang I heard in a while.

    ReplyDelete