Last week really tried me like I haven’t been tried in a minute. I shed a few tears, yelled out a few angry words, wore the look of disbelief, and said C’mon Son several times. I wanted to break some shit-had to stop myself from doing that-and catch a fire—but in somebody’s ass. Yeah, the grace of a lady left out the backdoor, faster than your lover when your husband comes in the front. For a second. It was that kind of week. I sulked, I pouted, I wrote some nasty words (& still kept it fairly clean, if you really know my mouth) but I still managed to get out and enjoy myself in all this Spring Time that’s springin’ about. Never once did I look like I’d been overhauled by grief. Maybe that’s my problem. I’ve taken “never let ‘em see you sweat” a lil’ too seriously. That means no one ever comes to my rescue when I’m going through some shit cuz, well, they can’t tell. I went public with my pain and most tiptoed around me like I had the plague or was walking past them on the Green Mile. They waved apologetically and looked at me with prayer in their eyes-please, Lawd, don’t let her spill over right’cheah. Ever the pleaser, I kept it classy, smiled in the sunshine and got my tools for getting this escalator crankin’ to roll me out of this space. So far so good. And a quick shout out to those of you who weren’t scurred to ask me ‘bout myself this week.
Anywho…a friend and I speak often of our Avatars and take great pleasure in naming them. It’s SOMUCHFUN!! This name ain’t original, but I’m going to use it anyway for the woman I’ve been
Well, I’m preparing to go back to work. A place that leaves me with no feelings of security but somehow makes me more comfortable because of it. Going to work is like being broke—you know exactly what your limitations are and you manage them, well. At least I do. While people keep waiting for signs of distress, I keep managing to laugh. The shit really is comical. Aside from work, I gotta crawl up outta this crater. So far so good. I threw myself a ladder and I’m working on taking it one step at a time. Today, I even skipped a few rungs, but I know better than to get too far ahead of myself. I got personal celebrations I need to be having, I got work to do to ensure the work I want to do in the future gets done, and I have new inspiration for continuing to pursue my passions.
So, when the flames start licking at my
Watch me move [snakeskin sancitified]!
*dowan & shai girl...i see ya palms itchin BAD*