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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Big Girl Moves

A friend is on a journey of self-discovery. She reminds me, older than me, that this doesn’t happen on a timetable. It happens as it’s supposed to, when our eyes are truly open, and ready to receive.

I remember when I first started making monumental discoveries about myself, when my own eyes were open wide enough to really take in my own personal landscape, not just what was in front of me. One day it just became very important, almost crucial, for me to stop giving face time to so many things outside of me and focus inward for a minute. Now I can feel the lessons happen, I can anticipate when some change or another is on the horizon. I have developed into being self-aware.

This does not make me perfect, simply able to see with experience. The occasions of my life inform the next occasion, as well as help me to skip many that are no longer necessary for my development and get closer to the ones that are. I’m excited for my friend, and I gift her a pair of comfortable walking shoes, though they’re outside of what she believes to be stylish. She’ll need them as she strolls leisurely through her life’s garden, pulls the weeds and decides what to water. She can even plant signs to discourage intruders or put up a fence for greater control. It’s up to her.

As she gets used to embracing herself, I will remind her that once you’re on this journey, you’re always on it, it doesn’t end. There are just fewer rabbit holes to trip her and break her ankle. It gets easier. I promise. I’m glad she’s here. There’s always room for 1 more.

To borrow a concept from 1 of my baby sisters in spirit, my friend is a ButterfLion and she’s discovering her roar. The fierceness that she already walks with will make this easier than it looks right now. I promise that too.


Watch her move.


  1. I hope this new part of the journey can be integrated into her life without undue pain and drama. Enough pain n drama!

  2. Hearing that there's no timetable is heartening news... to a point. But it's hard to go on a journey when you don't even know how to discover where you are.

    It's almost funny how self-aware I'm not. If you happen to find a dusty old map somewhere, even if it belongs to someone else, slide it my way. I might be able to make some use of it.

  3. @ Ame-it always feels like pain & drama are excessive. unfortunately, as humans, we tend to grow & stretch the most out of uncomfortable situations. I think we absolutely can avoid pain & drama in excess, but there will always be some.

    @ Orga-because there's no time table, you have time to find your own map. no one can give you theirs. no 2 people come into themselves in the same way. Sorry...