I’ve maintained the unpopular perspective that a lot of words/definitions/concepts that we lump together are NOT synonymous. One set of words/definitions/concepts that we do this with is truth and honesty.
The truth is I must wear sensible shoes now to be respectful to my body and promote my ability to use it with as much ease as possible throughout the aging process. I honestly am not interested in sacrificing style to do so and have found that it is possible to be comfortable and stylish at the same time.
This simple Cole Hahn sandal is an example of that. I was raised on real stuff. Cotton. Wool. Leather. Suede. My clothes and my shoes were typically 100% of some natural fiber or as close as possible. These days, the only way to have them seems to be to raise sheep and cattle on my own cotton plantation. I’ll pass on that and fight the good fight in search of substantial shoes. That also means that the shoes should have a sole, and not just a thin barrier between my foot and the concrete. This is all going to be very expensive but, since I was raised to appreciate the finer points of a good shoe, I don’t mind paying for the right not to pay out the ass on the other end when it’s time to see a podiatrist due to cheap shoe damage to my foot and, subsequently, other parts of my body.
Putting the shoe aside, something I have a hard time with is when to want/tell the truth and when to want/expect/appreciate honesty. For something to be true means it is fact or reality. As we know, we often function within different realities, which makes this a little sketchy. Honesty is actually a state of morality. To be honest means to be free of deceit; without blame; well intentioned; sincere. “Tell me the truth” or “I want the truth” are common phrases we throw around. Some would argue that their good intentions, a sincere desire not to hurt you, allows some wiggle room on how much, if any of the truth is told. I’m putting my neck on the chopping block by saying so, but I agree, on a situation-by-situation basis. I’ve considered this not only from the perspective of when I should be truthful and/or honest as well as when I think I could honestly handle the truth and/or honesty. Many of us like to claim this is black and white, but it is not, even if we find our way to making a black and white decision in the end.
The truth of the matter is that I don’t know what next school year holds for me, not a clue what I’ll be teaching. I honestly know that whatever it is I can handle it and will find a way to handle it in my standard Grace Under Fire fashion. It is true that I did not like the ambiguity of my teaching responsibilities this year, but I honestly learned a great deal about me having to pull it out of my ass on a daily basis. It is true that I like companionship, but I’m honestly not ready or interested in it right now. It is true that most frown on selfishness, but I honestly am not ready to give it up at this juncture in my life. It is true that I miss my girlfriends, but I honestly don’t know what the future holds for us and have to find peace in the possibility that it could be nothing.
Broken Silence is coming up on its 1st blog-i-versary. Part of the reason behind starting this journey was to find ways to honestly express my truth. Everything I’ve written has been my experience, if not just my thoughts and feelings on various topics. It has been difficult at times to find ways to discuss my truth without being harmful to other parties involved, to be honest without giving up all the facts (truth) because my face and name(for those who know them), etc, are on the line here. This year, almost, has made me treasure [more] the people in my life who at least give the impression of being honest, even when they cannot or should not be truthful. These are the people often looked upon as assholes by others because truth and honesty are really only games most people play at. It is true, people honestly can’t handle too much of either.
As a friend has probably forgotten that he’s shared,
The truth doesn’t set you free, accepting it does.
Unfortunately, he didn’t share a dope quote for honesty. So…the journey continues.
Watch me move.