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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Shoe Personality of the Week: 6/28/2010

So...it's been a minute, but with good reason.

Sometimes life moves at a pace that you didn't approve and while you're busy trying to figure out where the reigns are on this out of control horse, you're also flexing those thigh muscles harder than you ever have to maintain a tight grip before you slide off, face down in the dust.

note to self: learn to ride horses, not just follow the guide.

I've been waiting for more than one year-long saga to come to an end and bring resolution. I've been trying to do so expending the least amount of emotional energy possible. This is the kinda stuff that if you allow the drip to happen you'll never be able to fix the leak...or so it feels. So, I walked with ice blocks for shoes and tried to skate through these situations.

Success is subjective. What I deem as successful for myself may look like child's play to the next person. I've learned, though I forget from time to time, not to judge myself in the mirrors of others. That doesn't always ease the sting of feeling like you should be standing somewhere else on your journey, perhaps a little further along or on some part of the path with fewer potholes.

Well, summa'dis shit has come to something of a head. As it has, I discovered that I was unsuccessful in putting the emotions away. Some good news that I've been waiting all year for finally came. When I got it, I met it with joy immediately, and then the feeling of nausea. I didn't realized how pent up I'd been for at least a year. That was not a success. The success comes in where I was still standing at all, ready and anxious to take on a new challenge. Strangely, I'm all about discomfort these days, putting myself in new situations to challenge my fortitude, see what the hell I'm really made of.

This week's personality is all about taking bold steps and standing tall. This past year could've knocked me all the way down. Instead, it only put a slight bow in my back and not for long. I keep choosing Grace Under Fire, even when I really just need a break to sit back and shed some water weight. I have a lot of tears that need to flow and this dam keeps threatening to break. Even when it does, I'll still be hot steppin, head held high and leaving confusion in my wake as I cry with determination and purpose.

Bold and TALL. Rock wit' it.

Watch me move.

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