Shoe Personality of the Week: 8/23/2010
I’m in a state of quiet flux. Tomorrow marks the beginning of yet a new journey in my life, ushers in a new experience & opportunities to teach & learn. Tomorrow I blast off into a whole new world. For some reason, I’m not antsy or anxious. I am calm & secure in my seasoned novice. Oxymoronic? Yes, but true for me. This will mark the 4th in a string of firsts, making me expert at nothing but how to be new. It’s a state most resist & 1 I’m beginning to wonder if I just don’t have sense enough to resist too. Somehow along the way, I’ve gone from totally resisting change—clinging steadfastly to things I knew even when they were dysfunctional—to welcoming the shake-up to see what settles once the dust clears. I am a snow globe, constantly being passed around for the next person to shake & watch the flakes fall. Little time is spent at rest on the table.
Despite all the newness, I have tried to create a warm & inviting environment for my students tomorrow. This batch of babies comes from my time spent during student teaching. They were the “special” group giving the blues to the teachers who were mentors & later became colleagues. Their reputation has not changed & I’ve been heavily warned about what’s coming to me. I will work my hardest for them, because they deserve it, but because behind them comes the group that was my 1st class, giving me an opportunity to bask in their budding greatness once again. I look forward to the challenge of making the present group love entering my room despite themselves, despite their desire to hold on to preconceived notions about teachers & school. It will not be easy.
My fears exist but have not come to roost yet. I’m entering the realm of testing grades *shudder*. This world is completely foreign. My compass is used & cracked, donated by a school system that talks a good game in public & then turns its ass up at the people who work for it. This compass is not to be trusted. Instinct & cries for help are the only things in my toolkit today. Shouldn’t I be scared?
As I walk into the unknown, all I can do is bring things with me that will help me to be sturdy. Sturdy in purpose & resolve. I must prove to myself & those watching me that I am durable. I am determined to be successful at this thing too & my approach to my children will be vigorous & full of lofty expectations, hopefully pushing my children to want more of themselves. 6th grade English will become a Lust for Literacy. Bring it on.
Watch me move.