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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Goin In Circles

This song's been running on repeat in my mind since Saturday evening. I remembered I'd snatched the remix & had it on my iPod & rocked it LOUD on repeat in the car Saturday night as I drove home through tears. *not the safest way to drive* Only the 2nd verse really applies to my situation. The rest is just the nostalgic feel of the song. What's more nostalgic than pining over love lost? Actually, I'm pining over the concept of something I thought I had, not missing what I actually was in. More than anything, I really do miss my friend. That's my story & I'm sticking to it.

Watch me move through this pain.


  1. So I had been pondering for the past couple of days after reading your last few posts. Having recently been in a similar position where the time frame was not as long, but the intensity was extremely high, I would submit that there is a real catharsis to letting your feelings be known.

    If you're trying to cook a new meal, you would do well to wash your culinary instruments. While I (obviously) can't speak directly to your experience, it does sound like you're just rinsing instruments off and wondering why you keep tasting the same flavors, no matter what meal you're making.

    I do love a good metaphor. Hope it helps you look at your moves from a new angle.

  2. I tried to post earlier, but it looks like my browser ate my homework, so let's go for My Post Redux.

    I read today's post and the last couple of ones, and have been wondering about whether I wanted to throw my quarters into this particular pool, but here goes. I found myself, not too long ago, in a fairly similar situation where what I thought was going to occur did not correspond to reality. As I dealt with the ramifications of that discovery, I realized that sharing your feelings with someone who is/was the object of your affections can be cathartic. As far as this individual is concerned, it seems like he's always had a pot on your stove. It might have been on full boil, it might have been on a low simmer, you might even have turned off the fire altogether. But the pot is still on the stove.

    I'm not all in your life business to the point where I can say whether you've tried laying down the law before or not. Even if you have, the person that you were then probably isn't the same person who will be saying it now. Knowing something in your mind is one thing; expressing the reality to the world is a different story entirely. You need to say it out loud, and keep saying it, so you understand that there's no place for him the way that you want him to understand it.

    Last time I tried to write this, I had some kind of complex cooking metaphor that I can't really remember right now. So I'll finish like this instead: you can rock Jazmine Sullivan for now, but I expect you to be rocking this in due time.

  3. Girl, my theme song right now is Nicky Minaj "Your Love". I'm crushin hard and it makes me feel so 9th grade. I love it. Although I am a lil embarrassed about loving it so much. Cry your tears and then keep movin. We watch you move. Remember? :)