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Tuesday

Ooops Upside My Head


Today was that day.

You know the 1. It's the day where the best laid plans get taken down by that dude Murphy & all his damn laws. You wake up & it's brick outside & everything in you says call out & turn back over. Then you show up & discover that the heat in your room, on the coldest day thus far, is so low it may as well be no heat against the air disrespecting the supposed barrier that is your plexiglass windows. Then you sit through a BS meeting where people pretend they aren't passing judgment til someone adds something to the conversation in the same tone they've used AT you & then suddenly you're being reminded not to pass judgment on them. Mmmmm hhhmmmm.... Then you hear some BS about the person you are, gauged by people who don't really know shit about you & colored the nastiest shade of brown ever & delivered to some other people who don't know shit about you & then asked to "look out" for you. Despite the deep coloring, BS tends to be transparent. Go figure.

The day gets better though. Can you smell the sarcasm? Next you discover that the things that are within your job description actually are an impossibility til the things that ARE NOT in your job description are handled. All the while, somebody's crying & somebody needs a hug, & somebody didn't eat, & somebody's scared, & somebody's hiding. & it all happens in your ear & on your shoulder, & in your mind & your heart.

Yeah....that day. & it left me feeling like this:

Today I cracked under the weight of carrying my own heart
My knees buckled & my eyes came level with the concrete
Legs bloodied by good intentions with not enough space on the calendar to work the necessary miracles

I pluck bruised fruit & try to replant its seeds for a second chance
My orchard is watered by many cans,
Some containing piss & other toxins

The line before me is longer than I can see
I try to reach one so that I may teach one
One at a time it seems, backwards & in slow motion

My light bill is paid forward
I will always be able to see
Even if my hands are tied behind my back

Therefore, the tears can do nothing
But fall


Watch me move. (after I sleep this off)

2 comments:

  1. A-weez,
    It will get better. I know this because we can't have those days without having great days. It's like the ying and yang of life or some ish. Sometimes the days just feels like your shoes are on backwards and your heel just broke and other times it's as if you make all the lights without breaking your speed.

    Remember misery loves company so don't let life space haters bring you down.

    Fave line of the poem "Legs bloodied by good intentions with not enough space on the calendar to work the necessary miracles."

    I love this line but it also makes me remember that if I woke up today that was a miracle so I need to walk in my destiny...however sometimes that destiny needs a snow day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "...sometimes destiny needs a snow day."

    amen. & a man again.

    ReplyDelete