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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...

Monday

Preparing For Take-off

Journaling, or blogging, such as it is, is an incredible tool. Sometimes there are few things more exciting than stumbling upon something I said 6 months ago or 6 years ago. Every now & then the older sister goes through old email files & sends me baubles from my mind umpteen years ago. Some of the things I thought.... Some of the things I still think....

The beauty is the marking the passage of time with words. Included in that wonderment is the beauty of time itself, it continues to pass whether you're ready to go with it or not & things just tend to get...better. It reminds me of the wise words from 2 wise women in my life. My mother always says when things get rough to go to sleep, "when you wake up you'll feel better." That's truth. I'm sorry, I should of should've said #realtalk. I've been experiencing a rather hellatious period in my life, feeling like my heart & mind are bearing the brunt of brute force for the last several weeks. There's only so much a girl can take. Then I receive reminders, after the tears have dried & left salt licks on my cheeks, that I am a woman. That doesn't necessarily make me feel any better because it only opens me up for more trauma, depending on how you look at it. Figuratively speaking, it means my back is built Ford Tough & I'll be a'ight in the end. I'm straying. Saturday I went & shook off some of my troubles in a 3 hr dance workshop. It felt good to worship in the House I know--dance--& lift my spirit heavenward for guidance & steel rod support-isms. Answers came through my feet. Saturday night I made a decision to shed some skin...or some hair as it were...on my way to reclaiming ME. Sunday arrived & I allowed my body to be beat into shape by a beautiful older Sista who inspires me to dig deeper & be better. She doesn't even know it. After dealing with her, or being dealt with by her, I came home & passed out. I was Life-tired & Spirit-heavy & Emotion-weary. A few hours later I woke up & was able to do what I haven't been able to do in a few weeks: de-clutter my situation. Sleep does a body GOOD!!

The 2nd wise woman in my life is my grandmother, my precious Doris. While perusing old writings I came across 1 of her sayings, "Don't major in minors." POW! All upside my head. Thanks G-ma!! You know they say God is good all the time. I know that when I need something, I find it. No matter what you believe in, you can get with the concept of being provided that which you need. So, now I'm moonwalking, or back peddling, reassessing, or maybe just plain standing still on the huge decision I made last week. I have to assess what's important, if the decision aligns with my short term goals, & checking my back brace for support no matter which direction I go in. To the quick, what can I handle & for how long, realistically, in order to make my dream a reality?

Last week I looked like this



This week, I feel more like this (though it's early yet...)



...but minus the 2 questionable brothers. If that were really me in the picture, they wouldn't have no room for me on their team no way, so there's no disrespect in my imaginings without them, per se. The concept remains the same. To soar, without coming to this planet/realm with wings, there must be someone/s to provide the lift. I've got my family, my friends, & apparently even my own words to help me get air.

That feels good.

Watch me move.

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