The church shoe.
The shoe appropriate, once upon a time when we had standards for how we dressed for church, to wear in da Lawd's house.
The shoe that represents where my head & my heart are today.
If this ain't your first time here, you know I am not a churchgoing 'oman. I respect & commune with a higher being in my own way. Conceptually though, church is where I'm at today.
This weekend has been ripe with humbling experiences. The concept of my mother's mortality, while not an exact issue today, was brought home for me. My mother has always been more rock than Dwayne Johnson, more reliable than Prudential insurance, solid-er than an Ashford & Simpson song. I have seen her tune up a car, lift a refrigerator, wield a machete (no one got hurt). I have seen her dance & giggle like a teenager. On the rarest occasion I have seen my mother cry. With her prostrate in a hospital bed, my mother's face transformed to that of my daughter's as she cried. She's not been given a death sentence, nor is anyone--that I can tell--fearful at this point that anything serious is wrong, but Life has been making my mother sit down when she wasn't ready & being forced onto her back was frightening for her.
Right now, more than anything, I want my mother's strength & her drive preserved. All of her challenges with Multiple Sclerosis have been pushed back by her will, even as they've chipped away at her confidence a little. As long as my mother's mind is right, the rest will be fine.
In addition to my mother's anxiety inducing issues this weekend, my children filled me with great joy & pride. My daughter, The Miss September, and my son in spirit, S.B., completed their 6 month Rite of Passage program last night. They vaingloriously traced back their generations & recited their oaths with strength of voice & mind. Their backs were straight & they did not waiver. They had the support of their "brothers" & "sisters" to their left & right. I was with my own "sisters," sharing this experience with their own children, celebrating the beginning of their journey into man & womanhood. An auditorium full of extended family & their families came together to cheer them on. My smile beamed on megawatts & I floated on air. I cried & I danced. I snapped pictures & shot video. I hugged & shook hands & laughed & hugged & shook hands some more. I took pictures for & with.
The beauty of the stages in life was never more apparent than yesterday. I remember the exact moment my daughter's face emerged, cheeks big & mouth full. My mother has been remembering me as a baby as her own face has softened & her aura is more peaceful like babies. I am wedged in the center of that cliched Circle of Life
There is a lesson in everything.
Watch me move.