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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Mystical Woman: Part 1.5

It's funny what will & won't spark people's interest. Apparently many of you are out there feeling all kindsa hair angst. You're wishing folks would stop assuming you're hair is barely there 'cuz you wear a weave or that you enjoy Eric Benet because you rock a fro. Well, when I sat down to pen that India Arie moment--& note how iCringe at even identifying with her right now--I didn't want to bore you with my tirade. But since you rocked wit'me hard on it, lemme gon' & finish it so it can forever be shelved until the next change.

Yes, my hair is natural but can you spare me the assumption that:

1. ...I am gay. Nothing could be further than the truth. Except that I am transgender. Which gave me the giggles. Chaz Bono I am not. I LOVE MEN!! & even when I can't stand a man, I adore his ability to still make me wanna do things that shame the Devil. I assume the Devil has no shame which makes this concept that much more whorendous. We're all out here doin' what we gotta do, with who we like, & that ain't women. No Queen Latifah Wanda Sykes.

2. ...I rock crochet. Screeeeeeeeeeech!! Halt! No! Even when I had locs, it was my commitment & my duty to make sure I never went near any head gear that was knit or crochet so as not to be lumped in further with ass. umptions. 'bout who I am. I do, however, wish to learn to crochet. & then you have to fight with your assumptions about who I am as I rock the baddest form fitting yarn-made dress EVER over all this... You get the point.

3. ...I have a pit-fro. Color me salty. I have never shaved my legs. I've never arched an eyebrow. I just got into landscaping on the love below in the last couple of years. I'm a firm believer that hair grows where it's supposed to. EXCEPT armpits. For the life of me I can't even figure out what purpose this hair serves. It's disrespectful to tank tops, spaghetti straps & strapless dresses, sexy time, & Life itself.

4. ...I live to a Neo-Soul soundtrack. Negatory. I AM Hip Hop. I only know 1 other woman mo' serious about Hip Hop than me. That's not to say they don't exist, but I'on't know 'em. You will easily find me listening to everyone from MC Shan to the Wu & all its factions to Phil Ade (DMV shout out). My male die-hard friends are always impressed with what they find in the collection. I would sooner let Della Reese (RIP) shoot me in my pinky toe than to go to an India Arie concert. I'm actually breaking out in hives for having used her name twice in 1 day, 1 blog, 1 lifetime. #B-girlForLife

5. I smell like juices and berries. Enhh... I drink juice. Love it. I eat berries. Delicioso. I do not actually know where these juice & berry concoctions are made or sold to folks who also once owned "Happy I'm Nappy" t-shirts. Frankly, if I did know, I'm not sure I'd buy. See, juice & berries are sticky. Sticky things attract ants. Ants attract anteaters. Anteaters attract lions. & lions attract maulings. No bueno. By the way, I actually smell like variations on vanilla & coconut. Mmmmm...

Me thinks 5 more things is enough. It just seemed summa y'all were clamoring to learn a lil more about me. & while I'm revealing, I also love turkey pastrami, black nail polish, 5 star restaurants, luxury automobiles, & the dude Drake. I own nothing made from hemp, have never nursed a baby, have friends with relaxers, & occasionally buy clothes from the mall. I'm a sneaker freak, don't drive a hybrid though I should, & understand more about Crown Royal than it being a Jill Scott song.

Narrative: there's more to all of us than meets the eye. Courage is taking the time to see past that, being respectful of one another even when we disagree, & understanding there's room out here for it ALL. Your way ain't got to be my way. Make room for one another &...

Watch me move.

Post Script- I too am guilty of assumptions, but I'm tryna unlearn that behavior. Each year of my life helps me to put aside more & more of my preconceived notions about this & that. Now instead of simply accepting that we're all different, I embrace those differences. They make my life spicy & add a GREAT DEAL of laughter to my days.

What ass. umptions. have been made about you?


  1. Hmmm, this is timely. The assumption was that when I wore a perm, I was shallow. No I was just scared shitless of my natural hair. I'm natural now and guess what? I'm still scared of it. Oh, and I still love an Ann Taylor dress. I just rock it with a little more flavor now.

  2. LOL!! I never thought so. But I do see more outward fire & sass in you since you kicked that crack habit. Don't be scurred'a that hurr, girl, your hurr dresser seems to know what she's doin. learn on Fall's hurr!!

  3. This post is my favorite so far...I can see you clicking away on the keys sharing your view. Hilarius and poignant at the same time.

  4. humble bow in high school homie's direction!
    just tryna be like you when i grow up!

  5. Aweez, you know you're my favorite blogger right? Ok if you didn't you know now. I am so with you on the whole turkey pastrami tip but I must ask why no neo soul...is it because Musiq spells his name wrong? Please share!

    But seriously all up and throughout the funny you laced this with the truth. Often we judge a book by it's cover and lock people in boxes. The trick is getting over ourselves and getting to know people, you'd be surprised how much you have in common with someone you pegged as this or that. One of the things I'm working on this year with myself is stepping outside of my comfort zones with people and opening up to folks that I held on shelves or thought were this way or that based on minor interaction. It's been a great experience thus far and very eye opening.

  6. iBlush!! especially cuz you know my calm just ain't right w/out your chaos. when you take breaks my Life just ain't right.

    i actually do LOVE neo-soul or whatever it was, is, has morphed into. i just can't get into IndiaArie. irony? in Mexico, a new acquaintance looked at me & instantly was reminded of India. color me she who didn't see it as a compliment. India makes my sleep sleepy. iCan't.

    everything else you said is the hard core truth. i found myself given strong side eye to a bunch of coloreds heading to mexico for an event called The Jumpoff. 1 of them, when asked, actually took something to the trashcan on the plane for me. she gained cool points. but then as i listened, w/out choice, to her line of JumpOff related convo, I realized that i had in fact pegged her correctly after catching a glimpse of her "sexy little thing" underwear showing through her cheap leggings...that matched her homegirl's...who is a mother of twins. #imjessayin sometimes we get it right. most times folks deserve the benefit of the doubt.