This weekend marked the official community recognition of my Sister-cousin's nuptials to her man-panion of 7 years. In her honor I suffered through the burning feet of a dope but disrespectful shoe. Apparently, it's due diligence as a bridesmaid to wear things that don't quite work for you. I got it. Sister-cousin's wedding marks yet another personal New Year & brings us back to the concept of new beginnings.
Walking down the aisle as a bridesmaid alone was somewhat anxiety inducing. A crowd of people are watching your every step, noticing every crease in your brow or the depth of your smile. Making sure not to trip over a piece of fabric, the runner, that has no interest in you or concern for you while wearing shoes that are the wrath of the Devil, almost made me break a sweat in the early morning's frigid temps. As I stood amongst the bridal party, after a successful navigation, I watched the Sister-cousin & the Man-panion & wondered if they felt like they were in a petri-dish, their union under a microscope. Sharing your personal pledge with one another, an intimate moment, seemed to me like making love under a spotlight on a stage in a concert hall. I. Can't. Imagine. & then the kiss... Is there some kind of rehearsal to come up with the F.C. (family correct) kiss that doesn't let your parents catch a glimpse of how y'all really put it down? #Imjessayin
My questions don't matter. As the chilly breeze blew across my nekkid neck & shoulders, I tried to think warm thoughts of the the groomsman across from me
As you walk this path
Resist the urge to define yourself as any one thing
You are a stew pot of goodness
Designed to replenish Self from
& not just the hungry souls of those
Who suckle from you
When your pantry runs low
Turn to us
With an extra chair at our own tables
& sup from the banquet of sisterhood
--from a poem I wrote for her baby shower--
That means we got your back, Baby Girl. Gon' on out there & capture your joy, but be sure to let it breathe. & when shit gets hectic, refer to the above & remember we gotcho back!!
Watchin you/y'all move.