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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Finding Mr. Right

The other evening, my girlfriend & I were having a textversation full of the standard foolywang that is classic of our convos. Somehow or another we got onto the topic of where we find our interests. See, I was raced Afri-centric with purposeful fence straddling into the world of "regulah" shit. She was raised on the "regulah" side & then married into the Afri-centric side. She got her some babies with some sentence names (read: long as hell) & grew a fabric collection to be reckoned with. We have the same issue: finding mates who overstand understand our dichotomy. She came up with something of a personals ad when she texted:

I just need HIM to be able to love hip hop, know akom songs, know what my taboos are, know to take his shoes off at the door without me saying it, know good restaurants, want to look at movies besides documentaries, not care about stuff being organic, own regular shoes, own more than 1 dashiki, have a real job with benefits & have to put in a leave slip to attend dance conferences, want to vacation in any place other than Ghana and have SOME friends with regular names. Oh, & NEVER EVER call me Queen. He must curse like a sailor, buy liquor for us to drink--as well as the shrines. He should keep a pair of regular shoes & a dashiki in the car at all times, just like I keep a lappa & some stilettos.

The point is--in our lives, it's a strong likelihood in ANY given moment that we'll be dropping through an impromptu African dance class (lappa) or a happy hour (stilettos). We REQUIRE versatility. Neither of us has time to be explaining what Adinkra symbols are or why the food's all orange like that (palm oil reference). We don't have time to be fighting folks over the right NOT to name our children Jeffery or Shaytaynaysha. It is important that you know why we don't support "African" fabric made in China or why we gotta stop at the raw food spot on the way to the basketball game. We're versatile & diverse & need only to interact with those who are also versatile & diverse in the aforementioned VERY SPECIFIC ways.

As she loosely put it, she needs the male version of herself. I wouldn't take it that far, but I smell what she's cookin. Unfortunately, from my experience, that dude hasn't replicated himself enough times for us all to get one. I don't know 'bout her, but I'ma gon' & claim the victory now. & I wish her well.

Watch me move.

Post Script--please Google any new vocabulary. I'm too tired to define provide the glossary.

1 comment:

  1. the proper african woman is both traditional and modern. and that's the trooff.