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Mexico State of Mind

Recently I enjoyed a Mexican vacation while on location for a destination wedding. An old friend’s patience with relationships had finally paid off and he waited at the end of a short sandy beach aisle for his Lady Love. It was beautiful, every bit of it.

I learned a couple of things about myself while away & I’d like to share them with you:

1. I personally no longer believe in the stateside wedding. We should all be out here doing each other a favor & providing opportunities for vacation. The destination wedding is officially where it’s at. Yes, there’s that pesky problem of friends & relatives who can’t afford to take the trip. There are ways to still make them feel included via websites, video, & shared albums. Those who can, will. Honestly, the notion that our nuptials are supposed to be shared with every living being we’ve ever encountered is erroneous. Technically, your immediate family should be there & the rest are beautiful extras. Friends, do me a favor, & have your weddings abroad for my sake. & when I can afford to, I WILL be there. & for you, I promise to try to convince whatever man asks for my child-like hand in marriage to do it somewhere with resort fantasticness.

2. I’m built for beach bumming. Give me a book & a cabana boy & some clear, warm ocean water & I’m good. Hell, I’m GREAT!! I enjoy soaking up water & sun. No better place than the beach for this combo. & our cabana boy not only provided drinks but tapas. Who doesn’t love small plates of what the chef is testing? Plus, my skin knows it was meant to be brown. Somewhere along the lines, I used to be browner & now I’m not. Not in a Mike Jack meets vitiligo kinda way but in a “my grandfather & my father are fairly low on the melanin scale” & so I evened out somewhere further away from my mother’s spectrum than I originally was. #shrug It’s been like this at least since I was 17 with no signs of clouds or splotches so I assume I’m good. A little tropical sun through an SPF-50 on a regular basis doesn’t hurt though.

3. I was raised to narrow my attractions down to brown men. Luckily for me, it’s never been an issue. However, as far back as the 10th grade, my love for brown in various forms presented itself. Ahhhh…Cesar. He had the most beautiful eyes & the longest eyelashes & his mustache was full, not struggling like the other boys. On my trip to Mexico I discovered that not all Mexicans are midgets like the Mestizos I see ‘round here. On top of not being short, they were the nicest men I’ve EVER met & certainly rated on the Cutie scale. Los hombres Mexicanos son muy guapos. I definitely considered proposing to the water aerobics instructor & making it a team effort toward keeping this body together. I considered proposing to the shy waiter in our mainstay restaurant & possibly offering my services as some kinda counselor to visitors so we could live together at the resort. Hell, if I can arrange a massage from the beach, I can certainly offer beach-bedside counseling. None of those cats were as fine as Benjamin Bratt, but they weren’t no slouches.

Ben in all his cinematic barrio goodness. VIVA LA RAZA!!

4. My general health is better away. All that work related stress seemed to slough off immediately upon checking in to the honeymoon suite that was surely a mistake (although I don’t know of any honeymooners in need of 2 queen sized beds.) All that middle of the night vomiting? GONE! All that sudden rush BACK to the bathroom every morning just as I head for the door? GONE! All those work-related dreams disrupting my night’s sleep? GONE! Who needs to live all bottled up while simultaneously releasing toxins when they can sleep listening to the light lap of ocean waves on the sand?

It’s time to start considering where & when I can make all this happen & who I can convince to live the good life with me. The men I tend to be attracted to either have a GREAT MANY commitments wherever they call home (not to be read as wives, people) or they’re busy being public servants, or both. Sigh… Those are the kinda dudes who NEVER wanna leave. Guess I’m back to considering Benjamin Bratt’s ilk.

Watch me move.


  1. i think i read somewhere that african american women are the least likely to date outside of their race. if that is in fact true, it's understandable, but personally, i think we sell ourself short.

    but in general, honey, we NEED vacations so we can make the proper corrections in our everyday life.

    i also i think i read somewhere that people who take vacations generally function better and live longer.

  2. I am naturally attracted to black men. I also have a healthy fear of my parents, even as an adult. I really do wonder how many years it would take them to warm up if I suddenly decided I was going to take hits of the creamy crack while dating on the lighter side of things. No need to wonder, I'm honestly NOT interested in either of those 2 realities.

    I totally agree that we NEED vacations & I'm just now learning to take them. I've had plenty of trips, but I've not had many vacations. I wholeheartedly believe it's time to release that nonsense & step it up. I used to think the concept of resorts was kinda cheesy & keeps you away from the beauty of the people. Well, sometimes I ain't tryna be on a living cultural excursion. I was OK w/the all inclusive everything. I appreciated having the option to venture out & taking advantage of it on MY terms.

    As long as the vacays increase, I don't have to cut trips all the way out. Cuz they were about to be extinct.