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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...

Monday

Lady!!...LADY...WT--sigh


Do you see what I’m seeing?
DO YOU?!?

At 1st glance this might be an a’ight attempt at a slinky black dress. Nothing overly exciting about it but not worthy of splashing the #FailWhale. As your eyes travel North, you begin to notice that something is drawn/painted/airbrushed/silk screened on the dress.

Then your eyes go all, “WAITis that a…horse?!?” As a grown woman, hell anyone over the age of 7, there should be NO livestock, prairie animals, or zoo-going friends of any kind on our clothing. *scanning my wardrobe quickly to see if I pass this test* To make it even worser—yeah, I said it—the 2-D horse has 3-D hair. What in the Local Hood Designer My Little Pony Hell is goin’ on here?

I try not to hate on folks’ art, but I’m a realist. I was never the teacher that told children who’d just “drawn” a field of unicorns frolicking in a field of baby’s breath, but all I can make out are circles, that they’ve create a masterpiece. Uhmmm…nawl. Lil Sweetie, you might not wanna start claiming artist as your future just yet. The same applies here. Unfortunately, however, I cannot blame the designer much as I wanna drag him/her into the street & throw sidewalk chalk upside his/her head. THIS is the fault of the consumer. This consumer is famous but her name escapes me right now due to the distraction all up round her torso. She makes me wanna run by her with a pink plastic brush. You remember the kind that came with doll babies & got stuck in more hair than it actually brushed? This is her fault. This woman has given the Hoodtastic Designer hope, have him/her under the mistaken impression that talent is abundant up in here. No Ma’am/Sir. This woman misused her credit card balance, committed to sending in a check for fashion don’ts.

This post is only going to get worse as my confusion deepens. I’m going to just walk away. Equestrian enthusiasts everywhere may gang up on me & prevent me from petting mounted police horses at festivals, but I can handle that if we can eliminate such atrocities from occurring in high frequency. I pray this unfortunate dress is a 1 of a kind & no one is walking around in this “beauty” in some shade of nude making us all wonder why the wearer is sporting a horse body tat. Seriously…I’m walking away.

Watch me move.

3 comments:

  1. See, this is why having a "No, Boo" is so important. dead @ my little pony hell, btw.

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  2. exactly! i believe there's a team of stylists running around hollywood & its offshoots getting their jollies off of setting up people with not enough time to manage their own style choices. "Guuurrrrllll, ain't NOBODY gon' have THIS new new!! You gon' shet the red carpet DOWN!!" all the while they're sniggering behind folks' backs. if there was a "No, Boo" there, these people could be shut down. give said celebrity the o____O & threaten to leave her lookin like *__o if she doesn't come to her senses quick fast & in a hurry.

    these shenanigans must stop.

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  3. Imeen damb (in the words of Awesome Luvvie, I'm addicted, btw) though. How much sense do you need to have to tell somebody that you don't want to look like Secretariat on the red carpet. Maybe it's just me.

    ReplyDelete