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21 more things = 42

The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...


Planned Parenthood

SURPRISE!!! Beyonce’s face is in the place & not a cup of haterade in sight. Why come, you may ask? Well, I keep tryna tell y’all I don’t hate on this chick, I just ain’t out here praying to her throne or nothing. However, she checked & mated allayall the other day when she announced her pregnancy & I’m gon’ speak on it.

Beyonce & Jay Z did what we rarely get to see black people do in the media…hell, in Life at this point: they PLANNED! I don’t know how often I’ve said this in my mind, out loud to friends, & perhaps even here (I hope even here) that planned parenthood is NOT a place you go for free condoms & after you get yourself all in a sexual quandary.

Some people call it traditional, some people call it old fashioned, some people call it antiquated but I say BRAVA to a young woman who—whether you believe in the relationship or not—found her dude, dated him without a buncha folks in her business, kept her personal goals in mind, MARRIED the dude, continued pursuing her goals & increasing their bottom line, & THEN decided when it was OK to sacrifice her body, time, & Life to become a parent. That shit’s monumental. I know I’ve said THIS, but I only know of like…one couple who successfully planned their children. Like down to where they were going to live while those suckaz grow up so that they can be afforded whatever they deem important for children. That’s not to say some others of you haven’t planned but most seem to be taken aback when they find out they’re expecting & then work it out on some few choices type business.

Women are given a hard time these days for being career driven. Women are given a hard time for being faithful to their goals. Women are given a hard time for having high standards. It’s as though we’re being cautioned that looking out for our own needs & wants is counterproductive to coupling. Honestly, at times, I feel like my own decisions don’t inspire coupling, only because I hear it so often that getting more degrees & buying homes sans partners & wanting to live abroad are things I can do BECAUSE I’m single. It suggests that these things will also KEEP me single.

Instead of wondering whether the heir to The Throne will look like Jay Z, you should be studying how Beyonce made all’is happen. The sista is driven, if nothing else, & she leaves no stone unturned. It suddenly made sense why damn near EVERY video necessary for singles to be released has been made & dropped in a short period of time: she ain’t tryna be out here on her usual grind with a child en utero. She is carrying the kid that will eventually make y’all go “Willow & Jada WHO????” (though I’m already there). & watch the Knowles-Carters go one further & NOT give their kid no random arse name like Solid Gold Carter (which might actually be appropriate for THEIR kid) or some hood-Creole mash up that cain’t nobody pronounce using standard phonics.

I congratulate the ECSTATIC couple for doing things on their own time. I applaud them for not waiting for some TMZ fool to fall off a dingy trying to catch photos of the baby bump from some yacht off the coast of You Don’t Make Enough island. & I absolutely love that Jay Z gave men everywhere appropriate face behind the news so that you understand how glorious it can be once you’ve decided that you want children, are trying to have them, & you’ve been blessed in your decision & efforts. It’s far different from the Maury excitement when one finds out he is NOT the father…or sometimes the equally unfortunate face when he finds out that he IS.

This is not to say that the “traditional” route is for everyone, but if you are thinking that you wish to have a husband & children, you might wan’ pay attention to something called the order of operations & know that it doesn’t just apply to math…unless you’re trying to make 1 + 1 = 3.

Watch me move.

Post Script--family planning doesn't have to involve marriage unless YOU want it to. But even if you collectively don't believe in a piece of paper solidifying your love, it MUST BE agreed upon how you plan to do things. So, you might not go the rings & altar route but you can still DECIDE TOGETHER when & how you intend to further your lineage. The key word being TOGETHER!! If bein' a Baby Mama ain't yo' twist, then make sure you take all the necessary precautions not to become 1 or allow yourself to be treated as such. If havin' a Baby Mama ain't yo' twist--makin you a Baby Fahvuh--you too may wanna make sure you take the necessary precautions not to become 1 or allow yourself to be treated as such.

1 comment:

  1. I would have preferred "Maury moment" instead of "Maury excitement" - I really like alliteration.

    Love Baba