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The last post was the 21 things I KNOW at 42. At the end I said I'd consider writing 21 more things to make it 42 in total & then ...

Sunday

Shoe Personality of the Week: November 6, 2011

A'ight...so it's been like a month since I've graced this space with a SPOTW. I was trying that disciplined focus thing to see how that went & for the most part I was successful. Now that October is over & Sunday is back in the 7 day rotation, it's time to get back to this shoe business. While this feature was on hiatus, I even purchased a few of the shoes I've been eyeing. I finally got around to those saddle shoes that I was eyeing last year & did them in the classic color from my childhood--black & white. I'm so excited! I can't wait til they get here.

Getting on with it...

A year ago yesterday marked a fantabulous day in my life. It was a Friday night & I shared it with the man then known as The Crush. It was our 1st outing, & while not our 1st conversation, it certainly opened a door gate to things I had no idea would be coming around the bend. I was doing something I've always done, but with a different purpose. In the past, I've always been very honest with those I'm feelin, but only bothering to open my mouth if I intended for something to happen. It was me waving my flag & letting it be known that if we're on the same page, come on & lets see what it's hittin' for. If I just kinda dig you & know I ain't interested in anything besides enjoying seeing you when I do, then I keep my truth to myself & smile inwardly. This time, I spoke my truth with no expectations of a response, & especially not a nod in agreement. That night I found myself in the confession box, singing my feelings like a bird & feeling great just to have had the courage to be honest without thought to possibilities, having already assumed there would be none. All that after a comedy show.

A year later we still laugh heartily together. I still lay my truths at his feet. I still guard his like fragile eggs. The greatest joy is that I wasn't looking for him & wasn't really sure when I started crushin' that I had anything to give. I really felt like I was entitled to some selfish time all to myself. I didn't want to share in any way. Well...that's not entirely true. I wasn't prepared to share emotionally. & then there he was. & while I didn't expect him to have any such time as tomorrow, he looked a lot like what I wanted my tomorrow to look like. All kindsa perfect coincidences (which I don't believe in, by the way) were laying down like baby hair & Vaseline. The perfection was damn near frightening but certainly couldn't be ignored. I decided to settle in, feel it out, but swallow it quietly until we had the opportunity to speak openly about where our hearts & minds were. & he sparked the convo. Even better.

Somehow or another I knew whatever mojo he was workin, wasn't gon' be all slick like grease. It was gon' be some work. I was gon' have to work at quietly having these feelings or swallowing my pride or accepting that he wasn't gon' swing my way or that I was gon' have to step my game up or that I was too far outta the game or that I was too much or he was too little or vice versa. Whatever the case was gon' be, I was clear it wasn't gon' be easy; that's the point. & it hasn't been. While it's been different, it has been smooth, things falling where they seemed destined to land. I question it all & have faith in everything. Everything feels possible.

What's this got to do with shoes? Well, does any of this ever directly relate? No. But the shoe is a representation of where my heart & mind are--reflecting my reality or the 1 I wish to create for the week. This 1's real. I'm in a state of celebration. The distance from Crush to Boo was measurable but from Boo to Beau has been less so. It's like tryna get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. Eventually you forget the count & just enjoy the flavor & savor it til you reach the stick. No pun intended. I'm busy enjoying this. The days don't matter except that they do. & the seconds are beautiful tally marks on the journey of moments shared. So, I'm celebrating this week. This is the celebration of the inception of something wonderful in my Life. To be here at all was a bold move, never expecting it to have a pay off & our story in & of itself is 1 that would have most count us out as even being a possibility, let alone a reality actively working to understand our joint path in this space & time. The shoe must be as bold as We are. & it is.



With the crazy platform putting me up on top of the world...cuz that's where I am.

Watch me move.

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