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The Internet can be a cruel and unusual abyss of half-cocked opinions and bargain basement analysis, especially when it comes to Black wom...

Tuesday

Foreplay: End Game!

Pandora's Box.
Double Entendre. Sit widdit a minute...


Anywho, Imma get at this in a minute, but do know that I found THE BEST flick for this post. But the content alone is enough to create enough mental flicks in the movie theater that is your mind. No need for me to put images there. I'm doing you a favor & toning it down. Read on...

Before I blew this pop stand last week, I had gotten started exploring a series of emails from 2001 all about the power of the pee.you.ess.ess.why. Going threw the proverbial boot into the mix & busted up the flow. It would be udderly utterly ridiculous to try to recapture the momentum I was feeling & there certainly was little poppin in the comments though there was a squirrel who came through to get a nut, while the rest of you just lurked or holla'd at me direct-like. I don't like dangling things, loose ends if you will, so I'm still going to wrap this up the way I had intended to.

A friend of mine, my astrological brother, a dude i spent a great deal of time writing with in these cyber streets--the 1 who the original conversation was had with in the 1st place--hit me off with the perfect scene closer. To tie this all up with a nice neat bow, here are his contributions to this conversation:

gud pu$$i is that isht that dont jes lay there
that ish that wurks wif u
it slow grinds. hard piles. kwik churns.
girations.
got u wukin pa nub in all da wrong places

gud pu$$i speaks ta u. digs inta ur back. bites u in tha ass.
makes u bleed. sweat that beads & breaks off tha bottom uv tha chin inta tha small uv tha back
gud pu$$i remember u like an old fren. fits u like a glove. calls u by name. wont let u rest.
cant jse stand there in tha door. pretendin ta be uninterested.
gud pu$$i is already whet befa u chk fa whetness

gud pu$$i seys yes. even when tha lips sey no
gud pu$$i u can't be left alone in a room wif
its sweet
got ur teeth hurtin & guaranteed ta give u lock-jaw
not careful. U'll rip sumfin.
gud pu$$i does not respect condoms.

eye mean they aven't invented or patented one that cud outwear it
eye mean u cant even tell ur frens
cuz u dont ave wurds fa that ish
plus u wann keep it ta urself. greed.
got u walkin home wearin her underwear
gud pu$$i ave u takin dinner breaks right at tha side uv tha bed. then like. round 15.

it always goes inta overtyme.
u forget urself
call in late ta wurk.
call back ta call out sick.
call back ta ask how many vacation days u ave left.
gud pu$$i ave u slidin in ta the left side uv tha hip
blendin inta tha tunes cumin out tha ole soul station

ave u spittin shit pepul neber hear u say in public
gud pu$$i puts u unda a spell
ave u stutterin.
shudderin
loosin rhythm every nah & then.
gud pu$$i takes u straight ta tha head
wearin tha same clothes undawear three days in tha row.

smellin ur fingas when u du go ta wurk
gud pu$$i will give u epileptic flashbacks
thinkin bout normal everidey shit
gud pu$$i goes gud wif syrup
strawberries.
mangoes.
caramel.

honey.
oatmeal
yes muthafuckin oatmeal.
gud pu$$i. takes a lickin & keeps on tickin. Wont let ur hard on cum down
long afta u came three tymes & its hurtin.
ish be like. & what.

gud pu$$i dont care where.
be like on sum ole high school tip.
staircases.
bus/stops.
basement laundry rooms.
closets.
park trips wif mama ___________

ave the bus waitin like 20 minutes jes waitin fa ur horny asses
gud pu$$i
dont age
u be like 72 & pinchin tha ass uv that shit...
hobblin after it wif a cane

gud pu$$i ave u forget about tyme
15 minutes becum 5 hours
& five hours becum 15 minutes
gud pu$$i can hit & split
role play

cross dress
spank yah
gud pu$$i ave u runnin on empty
forget ur name.
where u were.
what u came fa.

ave u goin home cookin up new ways ta prepare ur gud pu$$i. serve it up.
a la mode. raw.
freakaseed.
nibbled.
poached. boiled.
gud pu$$i ave u runnin back thru bloodhounds. back ta tha plantation, fa one last piece.
gud pu$$i keep yo ass a slave. cus u can't leave.

& regular pu$$i. church mouse pu$$i. gentle polite pu$$i. inoffensive pu$$i. no personality pu$$i. dont give a phuk pu$$i. is plain whack.


What y'all don't know is that this was ALL on MSN Messenger. You also don't know that there are PAGES & PAGES more. The conversation literally lasted 1/2 a day. I was a student...his job was lax. Clearly, my brutha is passionate about that gud gud. I'll spare y'all all of that, though I promise you don't want me to. I also did you the favor of removing my parts of the conversation, instigating him to keep the flow cuz I knew he had a lot to say on the matter.

Days later he wrapped up his contributions to this conversation in 1 email that simply stated, "gud pu$$i clears up ur complexion."

Now that's power.

I ain't Drake. Thank me now.

Watch me move.

4 comments:

  1. Gudd pu$$I forces you to put a ring "or something" on it

    ReplyDelete
  2. you make gud pu$$i sound like a bully.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh but it is/can be. Persuajon (nod to the fellas) can be form of bullying, forcing someone to do something, or in this case convincing a cat to lock down an oasis in a desert. Thats sho nuff a Nelson Muntz (lookitup).

    ReplyDelete
  4. why do i feel like you just dropped a porn star's name up in here? LOL! & thanx for the homework. i know Nelson...though didn't know his last name (or his middle name...WOW).

    anyway...

    are you a squirrel being bullied for his nuts?

    ReplyDelete