Word of the day: Solace
It's what I've found. My tone around here has been a little less than happy. I was still very much aware of what brings me joy, but I couldn't tap into it & draw on my account. My face was twisted up. My stomach was tight. My back was tense. My mind raced. Well, that part hasn't changed so much but my thoughts have calmed down or changed direction. Faced with having to distinguish who & what I am to myself, feeling like those things had been questioned beyond even my own understanding. I don't know that I've fully sorted through the who & what of what I am, but I am CLEAR who & what of what I am NOT. I am not a whipping post. I am not a doormat. I am not a flunky. I am not a punk. I am not brownnoser. I am not a Yes woman--unless I believe in the cause/plan/message/goal. I am not Girl Friday. What I am is responsible for Me.
In finding solace I also found resolution. All this time I've been waiting for my wings to appear. The nubs were there, the extensions from my shoulder blades letting me know something was coming but the wings themselves had yet to show. They're unfolding now. I don't know how long it takes for my full plumage to come in but I'll be testing them out soon. I know that because they've grown they're perfect to support the weight of my dreams. So, I stand on the edge of this new venture & will jump shortly, in full Faith that my wings will spread & carry Me. Some will say I'm crazy. That's fine. Some will say I can't do it. That too is fine. Few have actually been asked so the opinions of others will matter little.
There's little sexy about this dive, except for the rush that it's giving me. I'm so excited!! But everything I do is with purpose. So the clog ain't just about comfort & support (solace); the color green plays in too. Green is a color that represents healing & balance. I DEFINITELY am in the process of healing from the wounds left by the cuts of this latest
GODDAMBIT THIS FEELS GOOD!!
As this all unfolds, be on the lookout for new things through & through.
Watch me move.