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Wednesday

'A' is for Appreciation


The other day I reflected on what 2014 let me know was missing from my life. In hindsight, I think I stopped the list at 5 to be realistic, but not because that's all 2014 showed me. In truth, I could probably have gone on FOREVER with all the smudges it illuminated, but nobody has time for that. By the end of the post it felt really important to try to find some good that came out of it. I expect this list to be even shorter, but I'm open to the surprise. I swear, right now, I haven't come up with 1 thing to put down in all this blankness.

1. I got to teach some really great kids. Pause. They're bigger than kids but not quite young men & women. But they were no less great. As a matter of fact, I taught some really great kids at the high school I taught at, as well as spend a brief but wonderful summer with some other pretty cool kids of the same age.

2. I read a poem that I wrote out loud to those really great kids. Sharing my talents with others is something I'm generally a little hesitant about with all that fear disguised as humility & shit.

3. I got those really great kids interested in social activism. We still haven't brought back our girls, but those really great kids were able to see themselves in those girls & recognized the importance of adding their voices to the call to #BringBackOurGirls.

4. Somehow managed to continue getting good grades in my master's program. Most importantly, I managed to get them while working as a full time teacher in an environment with expectations of my time that I was POSITIVE were going to be the death of my GPA. My sanity was almost wrested from me but I learned I can handle a load with yet another thing added to it. But I also learned that it isn't really necessary to do EVERYTHING at once & that it's OK to put some things down.

5. I surpassed my fitness goals. I've since done a little backsliding cuz Life wasn't cooperating, but I have proven that I can &, therefore, will again.

6. My sister-friend spent my bday with me & I have the pleasure of returning the gesture. It hasn't been done on either side since 1999. Nineteen ninety & nine. For my framily. Makes no damn sense, but no time like the present for getting it together.

7. Recently took a wonderful leap with The Beau & making grown up moves.

8. I stepped outside of my comfort zone & did some "acting" in 2 student films.

9. I gave away a GREAT DEAL of my life. The parts of me that have been boxed up, unused, ignored &... Yeah. I got rid of all of it that I recognized as immediately unnecessary. After releasing so much & still having so much I now question excess in my life. I'll be looking to pare things down further in the very near future.

10. Somewhere over the course of the last 2 years I got so distracted by the theory of my master's program that I allowed myself to get disconnected from the intention for my future practice. I made a deliberate & intentional decision to slow things down. I'm a semester behind schedule but I have a greater peace of mind.

While peace of mind is something I've fought hard to hold onto this year, overall, I managed the fuquery pretty well. The weight of it all has gotten to be a bit much & my knees are starting to buckle but before I get to Tebowing, Imma set some of this shit down of my own accord.

Ten's a good number. I'll stop here, resting assured that there were some good outcomes from 2014 & they weren't as hard to pull up as I expected. What good came of your year?

Watch me move.


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