This B*TCH RIGHT HEYAH!!

I tried REALLY hard to stay away from this insanity but, if I’m gon’ speak on anything, why not this.

Soooooo…yet another white woman has done some stooped shyt & blamed it on a black person. It amazes me that with all the news coverage of the manhunts for people who don’t exist, the investigations that lead to embarrassing concocted stories, & jail time, that white women haven’t figured out that this ploy just isn’t successful.

Some nut named Bethany Storro went to the hardware store, bought acid, and gloves to protect her hands from the burn. Then she applied several applications of acid to her face, taking care to avoid her eyes. Then she called the police to report a black woman, of athletic build (cuz that’s an important detail in a lie), walked up on her and said, “Hey, pretty girl, want something to drink?” & then wet that face up with acid. Supposedly Storro was celebrating a new job, so I assume this was a bar situation; a place where most black women carry acid in their purses ready to toss in the faces of white women. Wait? You don’t?

GTFOHWTBS!!

Remember, the strength of this athletically built black woman must have made her aim perfect for preserving Storro’s eyes because , while she hated her for being a “pretty girl,” she was sympathetic to Bethany’s need to see.

*yawn* I’m tired. A’ight, so somebody allowed Ms. Storro to file this report without hanging up on her or laughing in her face. It wasn’t until police and doctors actually saw the woman that the questions came up. Like, “how is it, really, that your eyes were spared by acid thrown at you & splashed onto your face?” Sunglasses. Well, when Susan Smith is your role model, any story’s plausible. Not. Also there was, “so…how are your burns so evenly spread?” Well, that’s probably linked back to the Sista’s tossing arm, being that she was all athletic & stuff.

Well….news reports & an invitation on a field trip to Harpo studios later, lots of people reached out to Ms. Storro & donated cash moh-nay to her cause. Poor, poor, Pretty White Girl. & to think that colored women are still out here in these streets rampaging against your beauty. Here, take hundreds of my stranger dollars to make sure your Pretty Whiteness is restored. To the tune of a little over $30, 000. Our Injured Imp went straight on a shopping spree at…wait for it…TARGET. <<just where you too would go with over 30K>> She dropped fifteen hunnit glorious free dollars to treat herself for this brilliance. Poo Poo on you, Susan, for not finding a way to cash in on your racist plot!! As she put away her new jersey sheets & her nonstick cookware, & brand new Mossimo jeans, she laughed at the rest of us for doing dumb shit like gettin’ up & going to work in the morning (or evening, such as it is).

The detectives & doctors, nearly a month slow on the draw, finally put 3 & 3 together to make “wait a gosh darn minute” & holla’d at the state prosecutor’s office. But wait, it gets better. The warrant for her arrest is for theft, but there is no real mention of the fact that she concocted this plan & then blamed it on a black woman, any black woman, just pick an athletic one. & to think all of this happened in some state in a country I keep hearing is called Post Racial America. Why? Because my president is black, which naturally means that racism no longer exists. Right?

Needless to say, the story Bethany Storro’s family is coming out with now is that she’s depressed & it was originally a suicide attempt. Bethany took it a step further & said she realized suicide wasn’t the final answer & phoned a friend (Susan Smith). She thought that by burning her face she could have a whole new one & a whole new life. Ok…so, that’s personal. How’d the “black woman” get involved in all this genius? What ever happened to things like, “I don’t want these kids no more so I’ma drop ‘em off at the hospital,” or “My life sucks so maybe I’ll move?” The prosecutor’s office was on the Today Show this morning reassuring the public that this menace WILL BE arrested. When asked if, due to Pretty White Girl’s fragile state of mind, they would consider plea-bargaining instead of jail time (to ensure her rehabilitation, of course), the answer was “it’s a definite consideration.” Translation: we try as hard as we can to prevent white women from going to jail unnecessarily, even when they’ve committed crimes. I give you: Lyndsey Lohan.

*yawns again* If there are still brown people out there who are confused on whether they are Americans, just watch the news & see who Lady Justice turns her blind eye on. Justice serves Americans. That ain’t you.

& Oprah, can’t you smell this BS a million miles away now? How many of these Liar Liars must you invite to your show before you start charging your team with doing a better job?

Watch me move.