Something's In My Throat (pun NOT intended...well...maybe)
Sigh...
The innerwebs are all a flutter because Keri Hilson & Raheem Devaughn have released videos that seem to be 101 courses for Ho-ology & 12-Play respectively. As much as I hate being a Bandwagoneer, I must weigh in. Keri's song is so trite that I won't even bother to mention it by name, as my ears are still trying to produce enough wax to naturally deafen me. The video is WHORErendous. I will skip posting it as well to protect myself against the virtual slaps you'd lay upon me for sipping on your life's essence in this way. I am not a Dementor. Harry Potter.
Raheem's video, for "She's Single", is catching hell now because there are those who feel that not to call him out is sexist, giving him a pass while taking Keri to task on the strength of being female alone. Keri's video, from the C-rate acting to the Ciara-wannabe dancing & the ri-damn-diculous lyrics (a term used loosely here), is just BAD. As a matter of fact, it's worser than that. It's bad enough for me to type w-o-r-s-e-r & mean it. Raheem's video, on the other hand, is......ahem.......heat inducing.
See for yourself.
Now, the boy doesn't turn me on. I mean, his lips look like they could do some thangs, but as attractions go, that 1's gone for me. But uhmmmm....yeah... The video had me looking left & right to make sure I was alone on the sofa. It reminds me of the love scene in Mo' Money when Damon Wayans laid Stacey Dash down behind the billowing sheet. The whole scene was implied. While there is little implied in this video, the soft porn isn't slapping you dead in the head (not sure whether I intend that pun or not) & still manages to be sensual, IMO. The shadows are doin the Grown Up & gettin it in, so much so that I'm....ahem....feeling warm. Wait, did I say that already? Sigh... The fire created by this video is less about Raheem doin' the most & more about me not really doin' enough right now. It could also be that red is a fiery color & happens to be my favorite. I'on'tknow but I'm leaning more toward the sadder truth. Sigh...*looks for a Cuddle Bunny under the sofa*
The point--I'm not mad at Radio Rah's R&B cover of Lil Wayne's song. A friend of mine might say it's typical since Raheem seems to be my iPod's favorite artist whenever he's around, but I'm really not biased. Raheem took an a'ight rap song & turned it into a decent R&B song & turned that into a damn good video. Hell, I don't like porn, but if a man wanted to send me a hint.... *clears throat*
I'll stop now. My parents lurk here.
Synopsis:
Keri, Baby, you need to keep writing the songs for Ciara so I can keep just ignoring her, instead of having to waste time ignoring the both'a yous.
Raheem....*clears throat again* you keep up the good work. In the words of thenot so great AhRah-Kelly, kang of dis here R&B swang, you got my "mind tellin me nooooooo, but my body....my body's tellin me yesssssssssssssssssssssss!!"
Strap up out there. It's cold.
Watch me move.
The innerwebs are all a flutter because Keri Hilson & Raheem Devaughn have released videos that seem to be 101 courses for Ho-ology & 12-Play respectively. As much as I hate being a Bandwagoneer, I must weigh in. Keri's song is so trite that I won't even bother to mention it by name, as my ears are still trying to produce enough wax to naturally deafen me. The video is WHORErendous. I will skip posting it as well to protect myself against the virtual slaps you'd lay upon me for sipping on your life's essence in this way. I am not a Dementor. Harry Potter.
Raheem's video, for "She's Single", is catching hell now because there are those who feel that not to call him out is sexist, giving him a pass while taking Keri to task on the strength of being female alone. Keri's video, from the C-rate acting to the Ciara-wannabe dancing & the ri-damn-diculous lyrics (a term used loosely here), is just BAD. As a matter of fact, it's worser than that. It's bad enough for me to type w-o-r-s-e-r & mean it. Raheem's video, on the other hand, is......ahem.......heat inducing.
See for yourself.
Now, the boy doesn't turn me on. I mean, his lips look like they could do some thangs, but as attractions go, that 1's gone for me. But uhmmmm....yeah... The video had me looking left & right to make sure I was alone on the sofa. It reminds me of the love scene in Mo' Money when Damon Wayans laid Stacey Dash down behind the billowing sheet. The whole scene was implied. While there is little implied in this video, the soft porn isn't slapping you dead in the head (not sure whether I intend that pun or not) & still manages to be sensual, IMO. The shadows are doin the Grown Up & gettin it in, so much so that I'm....ahem....feeling warm. Wait, did I say that already? Sigh... The fire created by this video is less about Raheem doin' the most & more about me not really doin' enough right now. It could also be that red is a fiery color & happens to be my favorite. I'on'tknow but I'm leaning more toward the sadder truth. Sigh...
The point--I'm not mad at Radio Rah's R&B cover of Lil Wayne's song. A friend of mine might say it's typical since Raheem seems to be my iPod's favorite artist whenever he's around, but I'm really not biased. Raheem took an a'ight rap song & turned it into a decent R&B song & turned that into a damn good video. Hell, I don't like porn, but if a man wanted to send me a hint.... *clears throat*
I'll stop now. My parents lurk here.
Synopsis:
Keri, Baby, you need to keep writing the songs for Ciara so I can keep just ignoring her, instead of having to waste time ignoring the both'a yous.
Raheem....*clears throat again* you keep up the good work. In the words of the
Strap up out there. It's cold.
Watch me move.
I'm with you 100% on "Ms. Keri, Baby". I had just seen her other video a couple of days before and while I found the lyrics to be simplistic, I liked the video that honered some of the greats (and she even shouted out TLC and Ms. Janet if you're nasty). Loved it, couldn't wait to hear little girls on the playground singing it, had even started to sing it to my baby girl...then WTF????? How do you go from self affirming awesomeness to that nonsense???? So confused. Why are you gyrating like a whore??? Why are your lyrics whorish???? Confusing to say the least. Now on to Mr. DeVaughn. While I seem to have an affinity for fidgets (f-ing midgets), he does nothing for me. But the video did seem reminicent of great love scenes. It actually made me think of the night that I was foolhardy enough to watch 9 1/2 Weeks for the 1st time while home alone. I've never texted my husband so much in one evening as I did that night. Oh. My. God. As I've said to many, 4 more weeks, Yeah!!!!!!
ReplyDelete*dead* at fidgets.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to keep pretending that Keri Hilson trash didn't happen. Thinking about it gives me a pelvic rash.
But uhhmmmm....er ahhhh....ya boy
*reaches for fan*
did the DAMB THING!!
Alright, Raheem. I was all ready to cut this video up and mock it and do what I does. But when I was done, all I could really think was that the heels were killer and she had no business removing them, because they were doing more than a little extra.
ReplyDeleteThe same sort of morbid interest that makes people stand around at accidents made me have to go get my mental skewered by this Keri Hilson fuckery. She was definitely doing the leastest. I mean, I feel like I deserve an honorary medical degree after watching that video. I saw more of her crotch than her gynecologist does. I don't even know if the song had lyrics. I don't know who told her to make this a little mini-movie. I don't know who told her Fat Albert's hood cousin needed to be on this video. I don't know much about what's going on here. I don't know why Keri Hilson only has three dance moves and she's bad at all of them. I didn't know Faith Evans was so hard up that she had to be involved in something like this.
Raheem's video was something like a hot scene from a Hollywood movie. It was hot. That was getting your grown on. Keri's video was the textbook definition of that questionable chick that you just bumping uglies with on the extra-sneak tip. She would get $7 for the cab ride home as soon as it was over, acting like that. I wouldn't even give her the privilege of doing the walk of shame out of my place the next morning because people knowing that you know her damages your reputation.
you watched WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more of that trashedy than i did. i couldn't take too many of those epileptic style dance moves. she looked like she'd smoked summa aliyah's cremated ashes, sprayed herself in ciara's sweat & then hired her baby sister to do her choreo. TRASHEDY!!!
ReplyDeleteyou're a soldier for watchin that all thru!!
LOL Aweezy stop it before I quit you for life!
ReplyDeleteKeri Hilson's video drips of utter desperation. Me thinks she's trying to uplift her career that's going no where fast. I'm not a hater because I actually think Keri Hilson is cute possibly pretty but she needs to stick to writing half decent songs for other artist because singer/dancer she is not. Although she has perfected the pelvic thrust proof by this video.
Now Radio Raheem is another story. Maybe because his video is just shot better and they are doing grown up things in a grown up way I like it better. I mean I'm not checking for the video and I don't ever have to hear the song again but the video didn't leave a nasty taste in my mouth like I just watched a p0rno by myself.