MOVE SOMETHING! But what?

I know...I know...I know...
It seems as though there's a little hateration in my holleration in this dancerie. I just can't help it, this chick gives me so many cringe-worthy things to discuss. OK...here goes.

I teach middle school, 6th grade to be exact. I KNOW that, while Nikki Mirage is more popular than breathing, Beyonce still holds a lil weight with my 'tweens. Because of this, it would make sense that First Lady Michelle Obama's Lets Move! campaign would use Beyjesus to motivate the chirrens d'em to get up off of their ever-spreading arses to get their circulation going. All for it. I am often thrown by these young girls who look worse than my grown friends, post 1 or more babies. I am completely baffled by all these boys with their bouncing chesticles & lookin' like they wear big drawls. Something's got to give & I support the notion of getting children involved in regular exercise. Still, Bey causes me to raise an eyebrow higher than my hairline. #SideEyeProper

As per usual, my focus is on Brownins. It's not that other girls don't need help but it's easiest for me to reach those that I understand the best & come in contact with the most. These poor babies are already confused & at the age where having your own identity is rare. That makes the images they digest crucial. Call me crazy but I think Beyonce is dangerous. Please don't bother chiming in here about her girl anthems & how supportive she seemingly is of girls/women. Yeah...yeah...yeah. Still, when you're an impressionable girl looking at an idol, all you can see is that what they do garners attention en mass & adopt a when in Rome kind of perspective.

What are you getting from this video, Ndygo? Glad you asked.

1st, WHAT is Beyonce wearing? With the exception of 1, the girls wearing denim shorts are wearing tights underneath them. & why is this barely acceptable for them? They're children & children make poor decisions. & so do some grown women. As I witnessed in NYC this past weekend, the average grown woman doesn't pull off short shorts well. I'm sorry, we just don't. If YOU do, I commend you for maintaining your stallions, but most of us just look like we're running to the store or should be in the backyard gardening, or--worse--like we should stay out of our daughter's drawers. Anyone with a salary or accountants should refrain from wearing short shorts. Beyond the ridiculousness of it, I'm not sure how short shorts relate to fitness & I CERTAINLY don't see how it was missed that B. is known for her backside...which shouldn't be the focus of a video for children. Please believe the boys I teach will take notice. Will they hear the words to the song? NO! All they will notice, albeit somewhat toned down, is B's "child friendly" vagina wagging outfit. A leotard it is not, but she still manages to have her thighs bare & backside accentuated by lack of fabric. Was something wrong with the rather stylish exercise gear being marketed EVERYWHERE these days? There's a way to be relevant to children without actually dressing like a 30 & Over Club Card carrying Rainbow Brite. These kids ain't familiar with her no way. So...lose the shoes short shorts, Bey, no matter what you're wearing them for.

The specifics of the outfit I've broken down. The generalization will be made next. How can "we" in good conscience promote children coming to school dressed in this manner? I REALLY want schools to go mandatory uniforms. It eliminates the conversations I have to have about patterned panties underneath thin leggings, the crack epidemic, polka dotted bras under white shirts, random straps & waistband sightings, young bosoms busting out of low necklines, name brand wars, etc... Beyonce, probably unintentionally, affirms girls' rights to come to school dressed in costumes, for the club, & for future careers in cotton crotch pole dusting. Trust, it would cut out a great deal, including the wildly confused, misguided, unchaperoned, unwarranted & inappropriate responses from boys/men. Yeah...I saw all of that in that unimaginative outfit that Yacky is wearing in this video.

My next issue...you guessed it: HER HAIR. I know...I know...I know. We all have the right to choose to do with our hair what we will. I'm the last person to rebuke hair color because it's 1 of my own favorite play things. Still, the long weave with the blonde on blonde highlights on a woman who seems to get progressively more beige with each shoot sends a not so subtle message that her natural attributes as a black woman aren't good enough. If hers aren't good enough do you think my babies, who live in a constant state of identity flux, are going to identify with ANY of their own positive attributes? Uhmmm...no. Hopefully my gifting a few of them copies of Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye & my own explicit & implicit messages sent by my own choices will remind my Brownins that it's OK to be...a Brownin. I just need a lil help.

Sigh...

Watch me move.