Shoe Personality of the Week: 6/12/2011

Remember this? If you do, you’re 30 something or older & have a connection with the term “back in the day…” Smilin’ at you, Mz. KoKo!

THIS shoe was what I aspired to when I grew up. Mommy was always talking about shoes with arch support when I was little. I recognized that I have a “barely there” kinda arch & deduced with my impish wisdom, trying them on in stores, that I should have these to support what I was working with. Old folks talked about falling arches & they sounded like a chore. Who was gonna pick ‘em back up & hold them in place? No need for me to worry over that—preventative measures in the form of a Dr. Scholls wooden slide.

Support.

We’re all out here in need of some. I was raised on pride & strong black woman-isms. That combination is the kryptonite to support. I simply don’t understand it fully…or spent a great many years not understanding it. I understood that I was the support for many & that they were so busy needing me to the hold them up…or down…that I either didn’t attend to Me or no one else did. That all changed somewhere around my early 20’s when The Guru made his entry into my life. He required nothing of me & worked diligently at helping me find ways to identify my needs & challenges & handle them. My how I’ve grown. Thank you.

Ironically, as he was helping me, I had more people standing in my line for assistance and trying to pluck all my personal fruits from my tree. They saw the small orchard I’d grown for them & broke the fence, assuming I was keeping the good stuff for myself. & shouldn’t I? Anyway, there were some snafus along the way & my own program was jeopardized at times, making room for too many hangers-on. I’ve gone through waves, but I got to that transitional age of 30 where, according to the Big Sis, I’d get a lot clearer about “no.” The Guru let me know it too would morph & I’d get clearer about “HELL NO!” They were both right. When it comes to adults.

Enter teaching.

Now I feel like I AM this shoe. I’m not trying to support children’s arches though, but there is something, or perhaps some things, that have fallen & I don’t know how not to try to hold it all up & together. Everyday I go to work I’m thankful that I did NOT get a degree in social work. There is NO way I could be anybody’s case worker & then leave children in sketchy home situations without curling up in ball on daily basis shakin’ & snottin’ all over the place. Every school year I have no less than 6 children I want to just take home for a weekend, a week, a school year, a lifetime. I do NOT have all the answers, but I wish I did. I do have a lot of love & high expectations & a dope example of parenting from the folks I come from. It worked for me & my sibs so… #kanyeshrug

Auburn Ave says it’s time for children, & I finally agree that I'm back on the Mommy-train, OK with the idea of parenting again. However, I don’t believe in the cart before the horse so, perhaps it’s time for that English Bulldog I want. Can’t have a dog without someone to pick up poop, right? Damn. Even pet ownership requires support. Whatever.

Watch me move.