Shoe Personality of the Week: 9/11/2011

THIS is a celebration!! Why? I’m glad you asked.

You’ve heard the adage, “What a difference a day makes,” right? Well, I’m looking back 372 days. What a difference a year makes.

1 year ago I was bloodied & bandaged, wearing the ugliest shoe I’ve ever had the displeasure of wearing, & at the beginning of my journey as a 6th grade English teacher. I was minus a toenail on my left big toe, a representation of the confusion I was unknowingly harboring in my heart & mind. I was suffering & didn’t even know it because I hadn't been robbed of my smile.

A year later, I’m not just posting an open toe shoe, but I can wear them again. It took exactly 9 months for my toenail to grow back & a little longer for it to return to normal. Gestation. During that time I was also experiencing the addition of wrinkles on my brain & long pulls on my heartstrings. I was busy falling in love when I really wasn’t looking for it & kinda imagined it may not happen again for a really loooooong time. I was also busy falling in love with a group of children who many find far from lovable, mostly because many of those children didn’t uhmmm don’t uhmmm... didn’t love self & certainly not each other or anyone else. I was being stretched & pulled, shaped & molded. I was learning faster than ever, taking stock of EVERYTHING!! I was learning more about my worth.

Able to put polish on my new toe, I’m looking back to celebrate where I’ve been, & I’m starting the party early on where I’m going. Even though I can see some of the writing on the wall, I am also learning to slooooow down & take my time getting there. These shoes are by no means of the leisurely stroll type but they’re sling backs & can easily be kicked off & carried over my shoulder.

This New Year, the academic 1, promises to be full of challenges I’ve not faced before & perhaps have nothing in my memory banks to guide me completely toward successful navigation. I expect that I may scrape my knees once or twice. My 1st aide kit is in my clutch & I’m prepared for it. I'm without doubt that I'll have to get comfortable asking for help. Ultimately, I will, as I always do, walk away more fortified than when I began this battle journey & better prepared for what comes next. These are all stair steps in the walk UP toward my purpose here. It is both exciting & scary as a muthafu—shut my mouth—but I cannot stop this train if I wanted to. This ain’t Bedrock & these aren’t the kind of shoes you put your throw against asphalt to stop the flow. No need anyway. I’ve also learned that I WILL get where I’m supposed to be, even when I don’t believe it’s where I want to go initially.

The party begins now. My toenail is back. My heart is full on new & improved love. My eyes & ears are wide open. & my fears are getting backed down. I don’t even need these heels to elevate me.

Watch me move.