Shoe Personality of the Week: 1/15/2012

1st, let me just be honest about how I've been more than negligent. So many things are happening in the world that I've found it difficult to focus on any one thing. Then there are so many things happening in MY world that I've just wanted to feel them evenly & not alter the experience trying to rewrite it in my mind or in this blog. That has led to a great deal of dead space here & for that I apologize. Many of you have reached out to me about being your favorite, or 1 of your favorite bloggers, & I feel a certain responsibility to you. At the same time, the responsibility sometimes feels more like work than expression & breaks become necessary.

Blah blah blah...lets get on with it.

So...last weekend the world welcomed Jay Z & Beyoncé’s baby, Blue Ivy Carter. I didn't have a party, blow any confetti, or pop no bottles on behalf of the couple. Like with any new life, you wish that s/he is born healthy & into circumstances that are suitable for a child. We all know, aside from the digs Willow & Jayden Smith live in, there are few aesthetically or financially better circumstances a Bouncin' Baby Brownin' can be born into. However...I don't know any of those people. &, again, aside from hoping they have what it takes to raise good kids, it's not my business. Which also means that it ain't yours.

The Innerwebs were all a tizzy over this baby. I've seen some of the most ridiculous status updates & tweets EVER around this baby born to 2 people NONE OF YOU know & a baby you will NOT meet. Y'all don't even qualify to be that child's nanny or man-servant. The closest you'll get to these 2 is through ticket sales & album releases making you feel like they're speaking your soul. But they're not. At all.

This is why I can't imagine why y'all feel you have a right to weigh in on Blue Ivy's name.

We all know that celebs have been naming their children after cartoon & book characters, fruit, sodas, theme parks, tennis shoes, boats, military units, malt liquor, & any other such nonsense. It's en vogue to wild out & try to make their children's names mo' uniquer than yours. & they're winning. Sorta. Blue Ivy is a helluva lot better, in the opinions of most, than the random arrangement of vowels with hyphens & apostrophes masquerading as accent marks for those of you pretending you know anything French other than kissing & onion soup. In the words of Ed Lover, getthefuggouttahere!! No...really. Get the fugg outta here. I had a conversation with a student just the other day in which his name, that I've heard before as part of a Nigerian name, had actually come together as the joining of his parents' names. His mother's name is LaToya, but they call her Toya. His father's name is Danny. Just know that whatever name you come up with right now is NOT it; as he explained how "the oi come together to make the y-sound." Yup, Ok Blessed Angel, they sure do. The point? The names for your children don't make no cotdayumb sense either.

Now, we all know that I ain't no Beyoncé fan & while I've been a Jay supporter, I ain't no all out fanatic over the dude. I have never been worried about them as individuals or a couple. They make me feel all #kanyeshrug. But they don't strike me as random people who'd just pluck a name out of feathered sorting hat dusted off from B's Creole grandmother's attic in search of baby names. They don't strike me as a couple who trolled through naming books to see what the top names are right now to avoid naming their daughter some ol' commoner's BS. As people who have fattened their pockets on the power of words I don't suppose they overlooked that when coming up with their child's name. Allow me to philosophize for a moment, if I may.

I've heard/read that Baby Girl was named after Jay's favorite color Carolina Blue. I could even see some nutbucket naming their child Carolina 1st, & Bleu (spelled like the cheese for "originality") as the middle to be cleverly shallow & unfunny; without that being the goal of course. When I consider what the Knowles-Carters have to offer a child I considered that vast thing above us. The Sky. For a child who comes from people who haven't bought into the concept of "No" it would make sense that they'd want to remind her that the whole world IS indeed in her hands. Even the piece that belongs to Willow & Jayden. Please forgive my snark. Give her the great blue sky. Sky's been done. Even the versions with 2 k's, 2 y's, 2 i's, a cq, & an ai. #imjessayin Why not go left & name her Blue? Is this the rationale? Dunno, but it could be. As for the name Ivy...I looked that up. 1st it's old school. I haven't heard it used in about 15 or more years. Now, it could be the name of a relative who means a great deal to 1 or both of them. Or it could be based on the properties of ivy. Ivy is a plant that climbs. Up. & takes over. Do you smell what the Rock is cookin?

Let me be clear. I ain't worried about this couple or their baby. A'tall. But the shade some of you have thrown a baby is incredible. So I figured I'd engage in an exercise similar to the kind that YOU as a parent should be going through in naming your own child--assigning him or her some purpose from the door. Stop putting these random syllables together, recognized or new creations, & passing them off as your child's empty ass future. You have no idea how many students I work with who have names with no meaning who behave as people without purpose. There is, IMO, power in a name. Empower your children from the womb. Speak positive thoughts to them. Use affirming language. Be firm but loving. But more than anything else, assign them some purpose. They'll thank you later. & so will my colleagues.

Welcome little baby, & ALL the babies born on January 7, 2012. & a happy belated birthday to Du'Shawn Williams, wherever the world has taken you.

Watch me move.