The Mother Ship May Have Sailed

That's right. It just may have. I can't call it & I won't.
However, the more time goes by, the less my circumstances change, & the harder it will be for ME & MY fertility issues to achieve family status...

I wouldn't dare say not at all. I've said that before & the grip on my ovarian handlebars returned. Being womb-deficient doesn't make one want children any less, though I have tried to convince myself that I did not. I've tried to convince myself that working with other people's children all day long should suffice. I have tried to convince myself that it doesn't matter. Life is full of cycles & who knows what the next cycle will be, but right now, I want to put some baby folk in the atmosphere & go on that very deliberate journey.

Summa y'all are like, "deliberate?" It's OK. You might not have known that you could decide when you have children--unless you're me--& we don't judge around here.

Should things pop off the way I'd like, I've been doing some things to prepare. It's a virtual nesting of sorts. I have wonderful people all around me who are standout parents & I'm stealing ideas as they remind me of my own childhood. The lesson I'm learning: be willing to be a kid again with your children. So, at some point over the next couple of years I will be copping a few things to remind me of my responsibility so I don't have to try to remember if or when I'm gifted the opportunity to do this [again].

1. Paint. & all the accoutrements. I hope you said that word in your best French accent. There should be tarps & easels & aprons & buckets & brushes of various sizes & shapes. & while I don't possess a skilled eye for drawing & the like, my kid/s won't care about that. What matters is that we'll be doing it together.

2. A sled. Or some sleds. Like, a saucer & the long rectangular 1. & then I have to scope out the best hills. So that when snow falls--as it inevitably will--I can be dragged out against my will & forced to have a good time losing my mind taking snow to the face & laughing all the way. HA! HA! HA! & there will be snowmen wearing ridiculous outfits & pictures taken with them like they are family members [whose visit couldn't be short enough]. This will also require us to all have fun snow suits because I believe in wearing the uniform of a thing & I also believe in being warm. Non-negotiables.

3. Stools. Of various sizes. So the little crumb snatchers can get started at a VERY EARLY AGE learning how to actually make crumbs. Well...food. These bammas WILL know how to cook. I'm not sending anybody out into this world who doesn't know his or her way around a kitchen.

4. Tri-pod. Cuz sometimes these pictures need to take themselves while we're busy having fun. A mentor posted pics of she & her family at the beach. In the cotdayumb Winter. The thought of being near water during Winter months actually makes me shiver, but the pictures were awesome. They did cartwheels & enjoyed the whole beach to themselves. & they even did some bird watching. I was a little bird watcher.

& there'll be bread baking;
kite flying;
museum hopping;
travel, travel, & more travel;
& horseback riding;
ski lodges;
book fairs;
art shows;
& we'll [re]learn to make pottery or take up mosaic tiling;
jewelry making;
soccer;
archery;
antique wagon riding;
& homemade popcorn & ice cream (non-dairy of course);
race cars;
homemade bubbles;
microscopes & telescopes;
& bug catching;
& so much more.

Because childhood is awesome. Raising awesome children is a job. & everyone says it's not a job if you're having fun.

Whether it happens or nah or not, I'll be prepared to either be the most intentional mommy or the bestest auntie.

Watch me move.