Girl (Bye) Melanie

After suffering through 2 of the 3 episodes of The Game I've committed to, I had to reach out to somebody, anybody, about this tomcoonery that's taking place on Tuesday nights.

Dear Girl Melanie,

Girlfriend, how you doin? Everything good? Yeah, I ask because I can't tell. I mean I've heard that you're with child & everything (remind me to come back to this) in real life & so I'd assume you should be happy. Instead, you seem to be taking something out on the masses with your character.

Let me back up for a second. Since the 1st episode you've done me in. I. Just. Can't. Take. You. By the end of the 3rd, & what we assumed would be the final season, I was ready to strangle you with a rope crafted of the intelligence that must've oozed out of your ear while studying in med school. Long sentence. Breathe. Now, I can fashion my rope from your lace front hat. Can you explain the need for this? Is it that because you're no longer filled with teen angst--read: Derwin put a ring on it--do you now need to look more... Hell, what? What is the purpose of your long straight weave over your hair those grows long & easily blows straight?

I won't harp on the hair. I will, however, harp on WHO IN THE SPITEFUL WOMAN HELL tricks a toddler into being swabbed for a DNA test behind his daddy's back? You gave real black women everywhere a check in the "L" column. How dare you play into the triflin color'd girl stereotype? A word of advice: if you aren't ready to love that man's child--if nothing else than as an extension of him--you need to stop fakin' the funk & pack ya Louis V's. See, if you had gone through with your medical residency you would have more to do with yourself than sit around listening to Tasha Mack casting shadows on whose scrotum Lil DJ was released from. Hello!?! Who takes advice from a woman dating Terrance J? Not to mention, I think she's been body snatched. A Tasha scared of Kelly is not to be trusted.

So...in the end you got to keep your man. Derwin's a cutie. A little too Jesus-y for me, but some folks are into that. The man has decided you don't have to hit the proverbial bricks, after gleaning a little insight from Malik of all people, so long as you commit to gettin' prayerful & investing in a pair of white gloves so you can join the Ursher Board at somebody's house of worship. Breathe again. See what you do to me? You make me run on. Anyway, since nothing so far has been a surprise, I assume the baby you're pregnant with in real life will become the bless-sed fruit of your union with Derwin & another unfortunate layer in your weak-behind storyline. Is I'm right? You don't have to tell me.

Well, I've decided next Tuesday will end the disrespect you're puttin on me. I'm going to have to walk away from your foray into modeling just cause, & the way you'll manage to deal with a man with a child without actually being allowed to interact with the child or the concept of said man as a father. Good luck with that. I'll spare my eyes, my mind & my heart this experience. See, I have chirrens to teach on Wednesday mornings & you ain't gon' mess up my energies toward spreading good in the world, despite your attempts to destroy the day before Hump Day.

Y'all have a good time destroying black folks' dreams of having a show just for us. Soon, all we'll have is our reruns of Martin. Honestly, I might cain't take those, so I guess it's time to return to reading. #lostart.

A'ightden,

Ndygo Sunshyne (disappointed fan)

Watch me move.